Scarecrow and Mrs. King
Always Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

(IFF, Billy's office. Lee is flipping through slides, showing Billy and Francine different pictures of riots and protests.)
Lee: As you can see, there have been demonstrations wherever the prince and princess have traveled. Wives of Zaqirees leaders usually do very little talking, but the princess has very strong opinions, particularly on the subject of oil rights in Zaqir. (The slide show stops on a picture of the prince and princess together in the middle of a crowd. Lee walks up to the screen and puts his finger on them.) And here's the royal couple, Prince Rheza Khan and his lovely princess, the former Miss Penelope Squire of Fallsburg, New Hampshire. It's the first time she's been back in the states since she married him in 1979.
Francine: I could have married royalty. You know, a prince actually proposed to me once.
(Lee rolls his eyes and returns to his slide show.)
Billy: Why didn't you accept?
Francine: His country was too small.
(Lee is still focused on the slides.)
Lee: You see, they're a little tired from their trip. The demonstraters were part of the Pan-Arab Unity League. We have files on most of them.
(Lee gets to a bunch of slides of strange men, one always with his back turned.)
Billy: Who are they?
Lee: Just being thorough, Billy. Notice the guy has his back to the action? That's kind of strange, isn't it?
Billy: Let's run that picture through the photo-recon lab and see if they can pull anything.
Francine: No sense taking any chances. The attempted hit in Paris was a very close call.
Billy: If anything happens to the prince while he's on our soil, we're going to have a real mess on our hands in the Middle East. That's why I'm taking this out of security department and giving it to you.
(Lee nods.)
Francine: What about the princess?
Billy: It's tricky with her. She hates being surrounded by a guard, tends to run off on her own without telling anybody, and since she's very interested in social reform in Zaqir, she has requested a tour of one of our schools, and not by some V.I.P., but an average PTA mother.
(The phone rings. Billy answers it.)
Francine: Well, I suppose I could frump it up a little bit and play the part.
(Lee turns the lights back on and paces over to Billy.)
Lee: Nope, I think Billy has someone a little frumpier in mind.
(He leans over and watches Billy.)
Billy: Wonderful! Send her in! (He stands up and walks to the window and watches as Amanda enters from the hallway.) I phoned Mrs. King about helping us out with this, but she said she wanted to talk to me first.
Francine: Oh, getting picky about her assignments, is she? Does she realize that some of us have worked for years to be attached to this agency?
Billy: Be nice.
Francine: When am I anything but?
(Billy opens the door and Amanda is standing right outside.)
Amanda: Hello! Am I interrupting anything?
Francine: Yes.
Billy (simultaneously): No! Come in, come in.
Lee: The house seems to be divided, so you may as well make yourself at home. What happened to you?
(Amanda sits down and we see that her left foot has a large plaster cast over it.)
Amanda: Oh, uh, nothing, really, it's not serious. I was demonstrating the hook slide to my Little Leaguers and I hooked the wrong way. I really didn't think it was anything at all, but then my ankle turned this really weird color.
(Francine answers her in a mock-pretentious voice.)
Francine: Was it terribly, terribly painful?
Billy: I'm sure it was. (He looks over at her meaningfully, then back at Amanda with a concerned look on his face.) Are you still able to work?
(Amanda quickly throws up her hands and answers.)
Amanda: Oh, oh, yes sir, oh, sure, yes sir, I -- Well, I want you to know how proud I am to work for the Agency. I think out of my entire graduating class, I am the only one of us to go on and become a spy. (Francine sighs and rolls her eyes. Lee stares at her strangely. Amanda looks down.) Of course, I suppose if there were any others, I wouldn't know about it, but. . . . (Francine rolls her eyes again in an "oh, please!" gesture. Lee looks down and shifts his position, looking like he's thinking "oh, boy." ) Well, at any rate, sir, um. . . . (she leans forward) Well, I'm not sure that -- that you realize it, but sometimes these cases that I'm sent on . . . well, they get a little dangerous, and . . . well, I was just wondering . . . shouldn't I know how to hit?
(Lee and Francine both abruptly look up. Francine looks skeptical, and Lee manages to keep a straight face, but his eyes bug out. Billy leans forward, just as shocked, and raises his eyebrows.)
Billy: Excuse me?
Amanda: Well, shouldn't I have certain skills, you know, like self-defense, maybe know a few codes --
(Lee and Francine look at her indulgently and Billy relaxes.)
Billy: Amanda, surely you realize that your value to us is that of a civilian. I don't need another agent.
(Amanda tries to say something, but Francine jumps in. Amanda turns to look at her.)
Francine: Were you to become a known operative, your usefulness would be over.
(Amanda tries once more to speak, but this time Lee interrupts her.)
Lee: Yeah, it's great you don't anything. The enemy could torture you for weeks and not get a thing.
(Amanda smiles sweetly.)
Amanda: Oh, well, I appreciate that. (She looks down, licks her lips, and looks up again, just as sweetly.) But I -- I don't think staying alive would compromise my usefulness too much. (She looks at Billy, who is smiling patronizingly.) Do you?
(The corner's of Billy's mouth drop and he looks at Francine for support. Francine, in turn, looks up at Lee, who is behind the camera, so you get a row of faces all looking at you.)

(Outside Calvin Elementary school. Lee is up on the steps, looking at Amanda teasingly. Amanda is below on the sidewalk.)
Lee: "Shouldn't I know how to hit?".
(Amanda looks straight ahead, trying to see if something is coming.)
Amanda: Look, I may have expressed myself badly, but I think Billy got the point. (Lee shakes his head and glances at his watch. Amanda glances at him, then back.) He did agree to a couple of courses.
(Lee perks up and also looks out in the distance. He calls to other unseen people standing around.)
Lee: Okay, everyone on their toes. Here she comes.
(He walks down the steps and forward.)
Amanda: Listen, I'm a little nervous. I didn't really have much time to prepare for a princess.
(Lee stops beside another agent waiting and turns. He holds out his arms. A limo driving up starts slowing down.)
Lee: You'll do just fine. For this you don't have to know how to hit.
(Amanda closes her eyes and shakes her head.)
Amanda: Oh, please.
(She walks over to catch up to Lee. The limo stops. While the other agent looks around, Lee walks over and holds the door open. A woman, Princess Penelope Celana Charisse Khan, steps out.)
Lee: Your highness. (Lee gestures to Amanda.) Your highness, may I present Mrs. Amanda King. Mrs. King, her royal highness, the princess Celana Charisse Khan.
(Penelope smiles and cocks her head. Amanda smiles nervously and makes a little bow.)
Penelope: Hi.
Amanda: Hi. How do you do, your highness? Um. . . .
(Penelope laughs and steps closer. She takes Amanda's hand and shakes it.)
Penelope: It's really so kind of you to take the time to, uh, to show me around -- (She stops and stares at the cast around Amanda's foot. She looks up at Amanda.) Are you okay?
Amanda: Oh, yes, oh, that's nothing, I'm fine, it's -- It's an honor, your highness. Now, uh, where would you like to begin?
(Penelope looks around, thinking.)
Penelope: Uh . . . I'm not sure, why don't you, uh, lead the way, whatever you think. I'll leave it up to you.
Amanda: Uh --
(Amanda glances around for inspiration. Penelope laughs again and walks over beside Amanda. She takes Amanda's arm in hers.)
Penelope: Shall we?
Amanda: Oh, sure. (Lee steps aside and the two women start walking off together down the sidewalk, Amanda limping. They make their way up the steps with Penelope helping Amanda.) I hope you're ready for this. The kids are awfully excited about meeting you.

(Motel room. A man with a moustache, Parker, slowly takes pieces of rifle out of a suitcase. He puts the pieces together, snapping the top half onto the bottom half. He takes the tightening key and twists it, the cold look never leaving his face. Then, he moves a lever a couple of times, cocking the gun. When he is satisfied, he raises the gun to his shoulder and peers through the eyepiece, as if aiming to shoot something.)

(Outside elementary school. A couple of men in Arab tunics and headpieces swing open the front doors. Penelope and Amanda step out, followed by Lee and the other agent. Kids' shouts are heard in the distance.)
Amanda: Gee, you were really a good sport about eating that cafeteria food. (They stop and face each other. Amanda speaks cheerfully.) Next, we are due to see an exhibit of earthworms done entirely by fourth graders. (She sees the disgusted, but trying-to-be-polite look on Penelope's face. Lee looks at Amanda imploringly.) Provided you feel like it.
(Lee smiles, pleased. Penelope looks down at her hands, then back up at Amanda. She tries to sound tactful.)
Penelope: You know, to tell you the truth, I am a little beat. Would you excuse me for a minute, please?
(Amanda nods.)
Amanda: Sure.
(She and Lee both watch Penelope walk away and through a door, obviously leading to the women's restroom. The Arab men follow her and stand guard outside the door. Lee looks at the other agent, then closes his mouth and steps forward to the bodyguards.)
Lee: Well, uh, someone's got to go in there and guard her.
(Amanda stares straight ahead.)
Amanda: All right. Who?
(Lee turns around and looks her in the eye.)

(Inside the bathroom, Penelope is standing in front of the sink, looking at herself in the mirror. Her shoes are off and on the floor next to her. In the mirror, you can see the door open behind her and Amanda's head pops in. Penelope lowers her gaze.)
Amanda: Excuse me, your Highness? (She waits for an answer, but when there is none, steps all the way inside and closes the door behind her. She leans against it and puts a concerned look on her face.) Is everything okay?
(Penelope forces a laugh, trying to hide her tears, for she had been crying.)
Penelope: I'm terribly sorry.
(She places her foot into her shoe. Amanda walks up to her.)
Amanda: Oh, no, no, don't apologize. I get awfully tired of wearing my high heels, your highness.
(Penelope turns.)
Penelope: Oh, Penelope. That's who I am. (Amanda looks confused.) Uh, was. Before I married the sun-prince whose glory shines on all the land.
(Both women laugh uncertainly. Amanda smiles, looking friendly.)
Amanda: It's quite a responsibility.

(Outside, Lee walks uncomfortably up to the bathroom door.)
Lee: Uh . . . (he knocks) your highness? (He looks at his watch and speaks very quickly.) You're being given a baby buffalo at four o'clock.

(Back inside, the women's chat club keeps talking, apparently not hearing Lee. Penelope folds her arms.)
Penelope: This is the first time I've been back. You know, since I was married.
Amanda: Yeah.
Penelope: Gosh, I just . . . didn't realize how much I missed home.
(Amanda nods, smiling.)
Amanda: Well, there must be a lot of pressures being a princess.
Penelope: Do you have any idea what it is like knowing that there men with machine guns standing outside your door when you get into bed with your husband?
(Amanda stops smiling and thinks about that. She starts to say something.)

(Outside, the men are all waiting around the door.)
Agent: Someone's got to go in there.
Lee: Who? (He looks back and forth at the two Arab bodyguards and finds everybody staring at him. He sighs.) Ah, never mind.
(He takes a gun out of his jacket and loads and cocks it.)

(Inside, the door bursts open and Lee runs in, pointing the gun around. The two women scream and throw their hands up.)
Lee: Hold it!
(He finds them and points the pistol for a few moments before he realizes that it is just them, no bad guys. He lets out a relieved sigh. Amanda smiles.)
Amanda: Well, do you happen to have any orange lip gloss?
(The other two stare at her.)
Lee: What?
(Just then it dawns on him what she meant. He looks upward.)

(The next morning at Amanda's house. Dotty is leaning over the stairs, calling to somewhere.)
Dotty: Amanda, Indian Bob's house looks just fine! (Amanda appears, in her bathrobe, and hops down the stairs, staying off her bad ankle.) You have got to get ready for the embassy reception!
(Amanda ignores her mother and talks to herself as she walks off camera.)
Amanda: Oh, why did she have to invite me? I told her tonight was the neighborhood play!
(Dotty runs downstairs, following her daughter, with an armload of clothes.)
Dotty: She told you you'd be back in plenty of time! (She walks off where Amanda went, but this time the shot follows her. They are in the kitchen, with Amanda standing on a stepladder, working on painting a large cardboard house.) It is incredible to me how you can be so blasé about hobnobbing with crowned heads. I mean, out of 200 women, your PTA chose you! Come on, let's look alive, Missy! Now what about this blue taffeta?
(She holds up a blue dress. Amanda raises her head, but she keeps working.)
Amanda: Oh, Mother, I hate the blue taffeta!
Dotty: Well, I never should have gotten it for you.
(Amanda sighs, but before she can say anything, the door to the cardboard house opens and Jamie steps out in a tree costume. Amanda tries to keep painting on the opened door.)
Amanda: Oh, sweetie --
Jamie: Mom?
Amanda: Yes?
Jamie: My leaves keep falling off.
Amanda: Um . . . I tell you what, sweetheart, I'll help you with them in just a minute, okay?
(Dotty steps over to Jamie and talks his hand.)
Dotty: Come on, I'll help you with that. Come on, sweetheart.
Amanda: I just want to . . . touch this up a little.
(Dotty leads Jamie aside and calls over her shoulder to Amanda.)
Dotty: Amanda, you have got to get your makeup on.
Amanda: Right, right, I know. All right, what about the lavender, then?
Dotty: No. Uh-uh. That will never go with the cast.
Amanda: Oh.
Jamie: How about the low-cut black dress?
(Both women look at him.)
Amanda: Oh, Jamie, perfect! The black dress. Perfect.
Dotty: Oh. Well, maybe I can find a little shawl that you can use to cover up.
(She stands up and rushes out of the room. Amanda sets down the paint and carefully steps off the ladder and over toward Jamie.)
Amanda: Okay, that's enough. It looks just fine -- oh, the dresses, the dresses for the play, we don't need the dresses --
(She picks up the pile of clothing and starts to walk away. Jamie turns around.)
Jamie: Mom!
Amanda: Yes, sweetie?
Jamie: I'm the one who's supposed to be nervous.
Amanda: Oh, sweetheart. (She drops the dresses and walks closer to Jamie.) Come here. Ohh. (She lifts himup and turns around. His leaves are covering her face.) I'm sorry.

(Outside Penelope's embassy. A line of limos are pulling up slowly, including one white station wagon. Lee is standing on the steps of the embassy. When the station wagon comes to halt next to the man checking invitations, Lee realizes who is inside.)
Lee: Oh, my god. (He runs down the steps and leans into the passenger window.) Amanda, this is a closed party for a lot of high-ranking officials. (Amanda just sits there smiling and nodding at him.) Now your assignment ended at the elementary school, so I'm afraid you're going to have to --
(Amanda's smile fades. She shakes her head.)
Amanda: No, no, I was invited.
(Lee's jaw drops and his eyes widen. He looks completely stunned and taken aback. The invitation checker leans in to Amanda.)
Man: Drive on ahead, Mrs. King. Someone will take your car for you.
(The man straightens up. Amanda smiles again and never takes her eyes off Lee's surprised expression.)
Amanda: Thank you very much. I'd better be going now.
(She drives off, leaving poor Lee standing there with his mouth open. He tries to say something, but she drives off before he can.)
Lee: Um --
(He slowly straightens up as the man motions for the next car to come.)

(Up on the balcony of a building across the way from the embassy, a man holds something up. He looks at the embassy, where Amanda's car is driving past. Penelope and her husband walk out of the embassy with their arms around each other. They start greeting guests and chatting. Up on the roof, you can now see the face of the man who held something up. It is Parker, the man with the mustache from the motel. The thing was the rifle he had been putting together. He peers through it, this time really aiming. Through the eyepiece you can see Lee, the princess, the prince, and the guests still chatting. Parker lowers the gun and cocks it. The sound frightens away all the pigeons roosting above him. They flap their wings noisily. Parker turns to look what the sound was. Down at the embassy, Lee is also attracted by the sound. He looks up in time to see the birds flying away and Parker aiming a gun right at them. Lee grabs the royal couple and pulls them down to the ground.)
Lee: Get down!
(Everybody screams. Parker on the balcony shoots, but the bullet just nicks the stone pillar. Before anyone can recognize him, he ducks out of the line of sight. On the embassy steps, the loyal Arab bodyguards are throwing themselves onto their prince and princess. They are yelling to each other in a foreign language, probably Arab. Lee kneels.)
Lee: Clear off all the exits!
(Then he stands up and runs off somewhere.)

(At the other side of the embassy, Lee comes running around the corner, holding his gun up. He starts to slow, seeing that there is nobody there. But just then, he hears an engine and turns in time to see a car coming right at him. Lee fires two shots, then leaps out of harm's way. The driver of the car is, of course, Parker. Lee has leapt into some kind of a tree garden. The car drives by. Lee gets out from behind the branches and leaves, but the car gets away. Lee pants and holds up his gun. He doesn't like to be beaten.)

(Back at the embassy, everyone is still recovering. An IFF agent is supervising. Lee runs up to him.)
Lee: What have you got?
Agent: Not a lot. Our man didn't leave much behind.
Lee: Well, what was the guy doing up on the roof?
Agent: A company by the name of Endicott Roofing had been hired to re-tile the roof. The guy started today. That's all we know.
Lee: All right, get a hold of the contract and find out everything you can about the company.
Agent: Right.
(The agent walks away. Lee walks over to Penelope, who still looks dazed. He kneels beside her.)
Lee: Are you all right, your highness? (She looks at him, then down at her lap. Lee sighs.) Look, when you are feeling better, I'll need to ask you and your husband a few questions.
(The prince, Rheza Khan, walks over to Penelope and takes her hands. Lee stands up to look more respectful.)
Rheza: Darling, if your feeling up to it, we really should go and speak to our guests.
(She looks at him pleadingly. Lee jumps in.)
Lee: Excuse me, your highness, I really think --
Rheza: Mr. Stetson, my wife and I prefer not to be affected by these fanatics. Our fear only encourages them.
(Penelope relents. She stands up and walks with her husband down the stairs to their friends. She looks into his face, then straight ahead. She forces a smile. Lee, watching them, shakes his head sadly. Then, as they walk past Amanda, standing still, Lee's eyes focus on her. A man announces the royal couple.)
Announcer: Presenting their royal highnesses, the prince and princess of Zaqir.
(Everybody oohs and ahhs and claps. Amanda looks on. Lee keeps looking at her and then walks away somewhere. Amanda hears something and looks over her shoulder. Lee walks up behind her.)
Amanda: Well, they let you in.
Lee: Do not look at me when you talk, huh?
(Amanda shrugs, then looks straight ahead. Lee sits on the banister. After a few moments of silence, Amanda speaks to Lee, still looking ahead.)
Amanda: I find it very difficult to hold a conversation like this.
Lee: You'll get used to it.
Amanda: Oh.
Lee: I don't want the princess to know that you're one of us.
(Amanda smiles.)
Amanda: Gee. I'm one of us.
(Lee nods knowingly.)
Lee: I know I'll regret saying that.
(Amanda's smile fades and she stares at the guests and Penelope and her husband.)
Amanda: Can you believe they're out there just like nothing happened?
(Lee watches distastefully.)
Lee: Yeah, I think he's crazy, but the prince wants to keep business as usual, so that'll mean you'll have to keep your ear to the ground. (Amanda nods seriously.) See if the princess is saying anything about enemies, political opponents, anything at all.
(Amanda turns to look at Lee.)
Amanda: What if she doesn't --
Lee: Don't move!
(Amanda whips her head back around front.)
Amanda: What if she doesn't say anything?
Lee: If she doesn't say anything, you'll have nothing to report.
(Amanda nods. Lee turns and walks slowly up the stairs and out of sight. Amanda is left looking straight ahead.)
Amanda: Right. Well, should we rendezvous later? Should we synchronize our watches? Lee? Hello? (She turns around and finds no one there. Then she sighs and shakes her head.) That man has the worst manners.
(Penelope and Rheza walk up to Amanda, laughing.)
Penelope: Oh, Amanda. Darling, this is Amanda King. Amanda, I'd like you to meet my husband, Prince Rheza Khan.
Amanda: Uh . . . hello.
(She bows.)
Rheza: Mrs. King. I'm so glad you could come. Penelope tells me you were very kind to her today.
Amanda: Oh, well, I guess even a princess can run a little low on lip gloss.
(Penelope laughs and rests her head on Rheza's shoulder, then straightens up.)
Rheza: Nevertheless, I do appreciate your hospitality.
(Amanda smiles and shrugs. Just then, Bo Johnson comes skipping down the steps, saying hi and shaking hands with everyone he sees.)
Bo: Howdy!
Man: Jack, how are you? Good to see you.
(Bo passes a couple and shakes hand with the man.)
Bo: Hi. Hi, how are you?
Man: Hello, Bo.
(Bo stops and chats with another man.)
Bo: So Tom, so Tom, you're looking great.
Tom: Oh, good.
(Tom walks away and Bo continues on down the steps to Penelope and Rheza.)
Bo: Well, howdy, howdy, howdy, how's my favorite little princess?
Penelope: Hello, Bo.
Bo: Well, doesn't old Bo get a hug and a kiss? (He kisses Penelope on the cheek and gives Rheza a friendly hug.)
Rheza, I'm thrilled.
Rheza: Great to see you, Bo. (They let go and Rheza motions to Amanda.) Mrs. King, may I present Bo Johnson. Bo, Mrs. Amanda King.
(Amanda holds out her arm. Bo takes her hand.)
Bo: My pleasure, ma'am. And here I thought the loveliest ladies were all down in Calvin Country. (Amanda laughs.) Would you ladies excuse us? We're going to go have us a little man talk.
(Amanda, still laughing, shakes her hand gently and looks at Penelope.)
Amanda: He nearly broke my hand. (Penelope laughs politely.) Are you okay?
Penelope: Yeah. I'm trying not to be a wet blanket and let, uh . . . attempted murder mar the occasion.
Amanda: Well, I would have cancelled the whole party.
(Penelope steps forward.)
Penelope: But my husband doesn't believe in showing fear. But I'll tell you something, Amanda, I'm afraid.
(She watches Bo and Rheza laugh and joke.)
Amanda: Is Bo Johnson an old family friend?
(Penelope shakes her head and folds her arms.)
Penelope: Bo Johnson is the uh, star of B westerns who . . .
(Amanda nods knowingly.)
Amanda: Yeah.
Penelope: . . . got involved in the oil business years ago. He and Rheza's father were very close friends and he became the first American permitted to drill for oil in Zaqir.
Amanda: Oh.
Penelope: On very favorable terms, I might add.
Amanda: Well. The prince seems very fond of him.
(Penelope smiles and turns to Amanda.)
Penelope: He adores him. . . . Bo Johnson is worth fifty million dollars and getting richer every day. All from drilling oil in Zaqir. Rheza looks up to him like a father.
Amanda: That's . . . nice.
(Penelope looks back at the two laughing men.)
Penelope: He's a snake.
(Amanda stops smiling.)

(Alone in the courtyard, Rheza and Bo are walking side by side.)
Bo: Now, Rheza, you can tell me this is none of my business if you want to, but things like this afternoon wouldn't keep happenin' if you hadn't gotten so controversial in the last two years --
Rheza: Oh, please!
Bo: I know, I know, an old cowboy like me is behind the times, but when I was growing up in Texas, our women kept the bit in their mouth and they plowed a straight furrow.
Rheza: Bo, Penelope is an intelligent woman. I wanted to marry an intelligent woman. I can not ask her to stop thinking or talking.
Bo: Well, then maybe you could do a little less listening. I mean, everybody knows she influences you, Rheza. You know, I just read in the "Inquirer" today . . . where she doesn't want you to renew my oil leases! (They stop walking. Bo faces Rheza angrily.) Now, my old widdered aunt sets a lot of store by the "Inquirer."
Rheza: The world is changing, Bo. My people want ownership of the resources. And a share in the profits. Now, Penny feels very strongly about this.
Bo: Why can't Penny be more like your mama?
(Rheza laughs.)
Rheza: My mother would stay locked in her room all day. ...... portable radios?
Bo: And a happy woman she was, too!
Rheza: Bo, Penelope and I are having a difficult time just now. (Lee appears behind them. He walks up and starts to say something, but then Rheza continues.) I cannot order her not to be herself!
Lee: Excuse me, your highness.
(Rheza turns to see who spoke. When he realizes it was Lee, he introduces him to Bo.)
Rheza: Bo, this is the fellow I was telling you about. One of the Agency's top men.
Bo: So you're the crack agent that's protecting the royal couple, are you?
(Lee looks at him suspiciously.)
Lee: Yeah. Um, have you seen the princess, your highness?
Rheza: No. Why?
Lee: She . . . seems to be missing.

(Amanda's house. The neighborhood play is ending. The stage is decorated to reenact the first Thanksgiving. Among the people in the audience are Amanda and Penelope. On the stage are Phillip, dressed in a Pilgrim costume, kids in Indian outfits, including a couple kids in familiar tree costumes.)
Phillip: Look at this strange golden fruit.
Indian: We Indians call it corn.
Phillip: Corn? (Parents in audience laugh. The play continues. Phillip walks over to a Pilgrim girl and puts his arm around her. He looks at the Indian.) We invite you for this feast of Thanksgiving with us.
(The adults all applaud. Amanda leans over and talks to Penelope, sitting next to her.)
Amanda: Didn't you tell somebody where you were going?
(Penelope sighs and shakes her head.)
Penelope: They make such a fuss whenever I want to go anyplace. (The actors start talking again. Penelope lowers her voice to a whisper.) I can't get away from them.
(Amanda smiles.)
Phillip: My good wife is making some dinner rolls. . . .
(Amanda points to the stage.)
Amanda: Oh, look. See the little tree on the left? That's my son Jamie. He's eight.
(Penelope giggles and they both turn their attention back to the play.)
Indian: I have an idea. Let us live in peace and . . . and . . . (Phillip leans over and whispers the line fairly loudly into the Indian's ear.)
Amanda: The Pilgrim's my other son, Phillip.
(She nods proudly and Penelope laughs again.)
Indian: Please accept this food. (She holds up a fake turkey she had been dangling and holds it out to Phillip. Suddenly, a loud clatter and men's voices are heard. The kids on stage stop what they are doing and look out to the door. The parents all look, too. Angry Arab men march into the room and look around. Everybody gasps. The men make their way to the front of the audience. Penelope sighs and looks down, embarrassed. The bodyguards stand around the room, looking just generally mean. The scared kids on stage hold their hands up, terrified. Dotty, sitting next to Penelope, looks bewildered. Penelope looks up at Amanda.)
Penelope: I'm really sorry, Amanda. (Amanda throws up her hands.) I am.
(Penelope lowers her head again. Amanda looks around, trying to find something to say.)
Amanda: Well. . . .

(Lee's apartment. The telephone rings. Lee walks over, picks it up, and plops himself into his desk chair.)
Lee: Yeah, hello.
IFF secretary: A Mr. Willis Parker is urgently trying to contact you, Mr. Stetson. May we patch him through?
(Lee sits up straighter.)
Lee: Okay.
(After a few moments, a voice is heard.)
Parker: Is this Stetson?
Lee: Yeah. (Somewhere, Parker is in a phone booth.)
Parker: I've got to talk to you. Meet me in the old canner's warehouse.
Lee: Where's that?
Parker: Come in through the alley behind the Mercantile building.
Lee: I don't go to meetings, Mr. Parker, unless I know the topic.
Parker: I, uh . . . I know who tried to pull off that assassination yesterday.
Lee: Yeah, go on.
Parker: Nothing more till I see you. I need protection. You don't know these people.
Lee: Well, Mr. Parker, don't panic, all right? Now I want you to meet --
Parker: You just be in that alley, Stetson. That's all I can say for now.
Lee: Mr. Parker -- (Parker hangs up the phone. Lee hears a click and a dial tone.) Hello?
(Hearing nothing, he takes the phone away from his ear, stares at it, then thinks hard. Still thinking, he hangs up the phone.)

(A bridge over the Potomac. Lee is leaning on the railing, waiting for somebody. Of course, Amanda runs up to him with a grocery bag in her arms.)
Amanda: Listen. I'm really sorry about last night, but she wanted to come to that play, and she wouldn't take no for an answer. What did I do? At least we had some time alone so we could really talk.
Lee: All right. What have you got?
Amanda: I told you everything that I have over the telephone.
Lee: Amanda, I cannot arrest a man for being a snake!
Amanda: Look, I'm sorry, I wish she said he was a smuggler, but she didn't, she said he was a snake! (Lee sighs.) Gosh, do you have any idea how hard it is spying on this poor woman? She thinks I'm her friend! She's afraid she's losing her husband, and you know what?
Lee: Hmm?
Amanda: She's so lonely, she's invited me to go to Bo Johnson's ranch for the weekend --
Lee: Wait, hold it, hold it. That's good, that's very good.
Amanda: Oh, I think it's just awful!
Lee: You're going, of course.
Amanda: I can't!
Lee: Why not?
Amanda: Because Jamie has Little League, Phillip's got a birthday party, I'm allergic to horses, and besides that, I have a real sick diffenbachia(?).
Lee: Amanda, you are in a unique position to provide us with the kind of information that we need.
Amanda: I don't like spying on friends. Lee: All right! All right. And I know, being the princess's friend, you want her to be happy.
Amanda: Yes!
Lee: Which would be difficult, were she to become widowed and living with strangers.
Amanda: Oh, really.
Lee: Amanda, do you know what happens to princesses when their husbands are shot? They send them places. Ever hear of Devil's Island?
(Amanda sighs, exasperated.)
Amanda: Yes.
Lee: I rest my case.
Amanda: Okay, okay, I'll buy some allergy pills.
Lee: Good, good, you'll be fine, believe me.
(He walks away quickly.)
Amanda: I know, I'll be fine, I'll be just fine. (She turns to catch him before he runs away.) Hey, wait a minute, where are you going?
(Lee stops.)
Lee: Huh? Oh, we may have finally got a break in this case. Some guy named Willis Parker called the office, scared to death. Said he had something to say. I'm meeting him in twenty minutes.
Amanda: Uh, look, if he says enough, then I don't have to go to Bo Johnson's ranch, right?
Lee: Wrong. Just go.
Amanda: My diffenbachia plant dies, you're going to feel very guilty.
(She nods righteously.)

(Littered alley behind old brick buildings. Paper is blowing around. Lee walks in cautiously, looking around. He checks his watch and walks forward.)
Lee: Parker? Parker! (Lee squeezes between some barrels and boxes to a door. Smoke billows out. He touches the doorknob, then pulls his hand away.) Ow! (Quickly, he unlatches the lock and tries to kick the door open. Finally it gives way. Inside the warehouse, a fire is raging. You can see an arm hanging onto a box.) Mr. Parker, you in there?
(With the door open, the smoke comes out even faster. Lee backs away and coughs. He runs and dives. His fall is cushioned by a pile of full plastic trash bags. He lands just as the door and walls to the warehouse are blown off in an explosion.)

(Amanda's house. Amanda and Dotty are entertaining Penelope. Dotty, eager to please royalty, excitedly gets the tea kettle from the kitchen counter. Amanda and Penelope are sitting in the living room, Penelope on the couch and Amanda facing her in a chair.)
Dotty: Oh, some, uh, some more tea, your highness?
Penelope: Oh, please, let's just keep it Penelope, okay?
Dotty: Oh.
(She laughs and pours Penelope another cup of tea.)
Penelope: You know, I can't tell you how strange it is to be home and have my own people call me "your highness".
Dotty: Well, I know exactly how you feel. I mean, it's not totally the same thing, but when I was made Homecoming Queen, I always felt that my little velour cape and my little crown kind of set me apart from the other students.
(She returns to the kitchen with the kettle. The other two women laugh. Amanda leans over and gets back to the subject about the ranch trip.)
Amanda: I hope I got the right things.
Penelope: You're going to have a wonderful time. I'm sure it'll be great.
Amanda: Yeah, yeah.
(Dotty walks over to Penelope with a plate of cookies in her hand. Penelope takes one.)
Dotty: Oh, you know, when Amanda told me that she was spending a weekend at Bo Johnson's farm, well, I just couldn't believe it. I mean, I can remember seeing him in a two-reeler western in nineteen. . . . (Suddenly she stops and titters nervously.) Never mind.
(She walks back to the kitchen. All women laugh.)
Amanda: Mother, make sure the boys behave themselves this weekend, all right?
(Dotty returns to Amanda with a piece of paper in her hand this time.)
Dotty: Amanda, if you should just happen to walk by Bo Johnson, and he should just be standing there with time on his hands, and a ball-point pen --
(She hands the paper to Amanda.)
Amanda: Yes, Mother, I'll get his autograph.
Dotty: Well, just something simple like, "To my friend Amanda." (She starts to leave again, then turns back, laughing at herself.) "Amanda"! "To my friend Dotty."
Amanda: I'll tell him.
(She rolls her eyes comically while Dotty, still laughing, retreats tot he kitchen again.)
Dotty: With best wishes. And a big Texas howdy! (All women laugh again.) And remember, it's D-O-T-T-Y --
Amanda: Yes, Mother.
Both: Not I-E!
Amanda: I know.
(They all laugh, enjoying themselves.)
Penelope: I don't believe it.

(Bo's ranch. Horses are running free over the wide open plain. They run past in a line. Then Bo rides up on a white horse. He pulls the reins to stop it. The horse skids to a halt. Then Bo climbs down and trots over to his friend, Earl, hidden in the shadows. While running, Bo pulls something out of his holster.)
Bo: Hey, Earl!
Earl: Hey there, Mr. Johnson, what's up?
(Bo holds up whatever it was that came out of his holster, which turns out to be a whistle. He holds it up in Earl's face.)
Bo: Watch this.
(He puts the whistle to his mouth and blows. A high, shrill pitch causes the gentle-looking white horse to run wildly over to a cliff and rear. Bo and Earl rush over to it. Bo takes the reins and holds the horse steady. They both stare down into the ravine, which consists of fast-moving, shallow water over sharp, jagged rocks.)
Earl: Boy, that's a nasty drop.
Bo: Yeah. A lot of royal blood could get spilled down there.
(Earl looks up at Bo and grins gleefully.)
Earl: You seen the papers? (Bo turns to look at Earl.) It took four engine companies to put out that fire.
(Earl looks back down at the rocks. Bo slips a cigar out of his friend's pocket.) Bo: That darn fool Parker. He brought it on himself the minute he picked up that phone.
(He turns and gazes fondly the horse.)
Earl: Yeah, well. I reckon when he missed his target at the embassy the other night, he figured the Feds would go easier on him than we would.
(Bo takes a treat out of his pocket and feeds it to the horse.)
Bo: You know, Earl, I never could stomach disloyalty in a man, could you?
(Earl looks at him, chewing tobacco.)

(Later that day. Arab men and other guests are sitting around a picnic table at the ranch, singing "Home on the Range." Amanda hobbles by on her cast. She flashes them a quick smile, then takes a sit at a table. Directly behind her is Lee. He puts a forkful of something into his mouth, chews it, then glances behind him at Amanda.)
Lee: My chili's better.
(Amanda twists around in her seat.)
Amanda: What?
Lee: Do not look at me.
Amanda: Oh.
(She spins back around and stares at her food.)
Lee: Pretend to be doing something else.
Amanda: Right.
(She takes a bite of her chili.)
Lee: What are you doing?
Amanda: Eating.
Lee: Eating?
Amanda: Mm-hmm. How did your meeting with Mr. Parker go?
Lee: Mr. Parker's no longer with us. All that's left of him is his cowboy boots.
Amanda: Oh, my gosh.
Lee: How are you doing?
Amanda: I'm doing okay. Her husband's been with us most of the time, so she's been pretty quiet.
(Lee stands up, being careful not to look at Amanda. He edges past her. As he passes, he whispers to her.)
Lee: Whose ever behind this isn't fooling around, so watch yourself.
Amanda: Ten-four.
(He walks away. You hear voices chatting about the Texas chili. Penelope walks up to Amanda.)
Penelope: My chili's better. (Amanda tries to hide a smile. Penelope stares after Lee for a little while longer, then nods to Amanda.) He's kinda cute.
Amanda: Who?
(Penelope walks over to the table and sits down across from Amanda.)
Penelope: That agent, Mr. Stetson. The one in charge of security.
(Amanda smiles and nods.)
Amanda: Oh, him.
Penelope: Yeah, him. Yeah, I notice he doesn't have a wedding ring on.
(Amanda stares at her for a moment, then realizes what she is hinting at. She shakes her head.)
Amanda: Oh, no. No, I could never get involved with . . . anybody in that line of work. That's, that's too dangerous.
Penelope: Sometimes dangerous can be fun.
Amanda: Sometimes dangerous can be dangerous.

(Somewhere against a blank wall of the ranch cabin, Lee is pacing back and forth, listening on his cellular phone.)
Lee: Yeah. . . . Yeah.
(At IFF in Billy's office, Francine, sounding annoyed, is on the phone with him.)
Francine: I spent the entire evening with an IRS man.
Lee: Come on, Francine, do you have to give me all the gory details of how you got the information?
Francine: Yes, I do. First, we went to a tiny little restaurant with imitation wood tables and no wine list to speak of and then, then he suggested that we go back to his condo.
Lee: Oh, come on now. It's not like you've never done that before.
Francine: Not to music, I haven't. (Lee chuckles.) Rudolph claims he knows everything about Endicott. Yu see, he handled their audit a few years back. Guess who owns Endicott Roofing Company. Johnson Oil.
Lee: It's owned by who?
Francine: Johnson Oil. I did some checking on it and I found out that they got the embassy job by bidding ridiculously low.
Lee: Oh, by the way, what did Recon get on that photo I took at the embassy? You know, the guy with his back turned?
Francine: Unfortunately, not too much. Uh, it does appear that he's looking up at the roof of the embassy, and, uh, let me see. . . . (she ruffles through some papers on the desk) Uh, he's tall, looks like he has a little bit of dandruff, and he's wearing cowboy boots.
Lee: He's wearing what?
Francine: Cowboy boots. Good luck. Bye.
(She hangs up just as the door opens and Billy walks in. He walks over to his desk and sits in his chair.)
Billy: Was that Lee you were talking to?
(He starts going through things in the drawers.)
Francine: Yeah. Listen, Billy. Would you mind explaining one tiny, little inequity to me?
Billy: What's that?
Francine: Well, it just seems that while I, the seasoned professional, am in here, digging through files, socializing with the IRS (Billy sighs and gets up to search through the books in his bookshelves, while Francine follows him), Amanda, the rookie, is out whooping it up with royalty, ex-movie stars, and Lee Stetson. I mean, I'm asking you, who do you know that is better at mingling with and flattering the idle rich than I am?
Billy: No one.
(He walks back to his desk. Francine trails behind.)
Francine: Ah-hah. So, you can explain the situation to me?
(Billy stands up with a mug in his hand and polishes it.)
Billy: Certainly. (He looks at her with a smile.) That's the way life is.
(He walks out the door, leaving Francine wondering to herself.)
Francine: Why do I even ask these questions?

(Bo's ranch. A band is on a platform, playing a western song with Bo singing along. They are entertaining hundreds of people, including Penelope and Amanda right in front.)
Bo: Whoopie-ty-yi-oh, get along little dogies.
Band: Yee-ha!
Bo: You know that Wyomin' will be your new home.
(A guitar playing starts yodeling and howling. The Arab bodyguards try not to roll their eyes. All the band members cheer him on. Then Bo starts singing again, but this time the band joins in.)
Bo and Band: Whoopie-ty-yi-oh, get along little dogies. It's your misfortune and none of my own. (Amanda watches.) Whoopie-ty-yi-oh, get along little dogies. You know that Wyomin' will be your new home.
(Everyone claps. Bo takes off his cowboy hat and thrusts it in the air.)
Bo: Yow! Whoo!
(The audience applauds and cheers some more. Bo puts his hat back on his head.)
Bo: Thank you very much. Thank you, thank you very much. Thank you, thank you, thank you, I appreciated it. (He holds up his hands. The cheering stops.) And welcome. Welcome once again to the sweetest little ranch on the Atlantic side of Texas. (The audience laughs and cheers.) I want you all to know that the prince's father, Hassim Ahmed Khan, was a very dear friend of mine. He was a great man. And a great leader of his people. (Penelope lowers her head. Amanda looks forward solemnly.) As a token of my esteem for the royal couple, I want to present the princess with a little something from the very bottom of my heart.
(Bo motions to the back of the audience. Everyone turns to look. A man rides up on a white horse, the same one that Bo had been displaying to Earl. Everybody claps and steps aside. Penelope's mouth drops. Amanda nudges her. The man stops the horse in the middle of the audience. Grinning dazedly, Penelope steps forward to claim her horse. At a signal from the rider, the horse bends on one knee and bows to the princess. Penelope laughs and the horse straightens up. Penelope hugs it and strokes it. Quietly, Earl makes his way into the audience and watches. He steps aside to reveal Lee, also watching, somewhat suspiciously.)

(That night in a ranch cabin. Penelope is worriedly pacing back and forth. Amanda is sitting in a chair, watching her.)
Penelope: Rheza has been meeting with Bo for two hours now. (She walks to the window and looks out.) I know what Bo's up to. (She turns to Amanda.) That man will go to any length to close that deal.
Amanda: Why don't you just relax and enjoy the honeysuckle in the moonlight?
Penelope: You know, when Rheza and I were first married, we were inseparable. I think we scandalized the country. Now, oh, so much of his day is spent with -- with, with meetings and crises and we argue all the time. Mostly about Bo and that oil lease. (She sighs.) Oh, I don't know. (She sits down and faces Amanda.) Amanda, I don't know, maybe that's not even the issue at all.
Amanda: Maybe it's not. Maybe if you could stop being the prince and the princess and just be Penelope and Rheza once in a while, maybe be alone. Maybe that would help. When, when I was married and things weren't going so well, I had this son . . . one sexy night.
(They giggle.)
Penelope: Really?
Amanda: Yeah. My ex-husband liked it so, things weren't going so well, I'd put it on. And, uh, he had this uh, this concoction, this hot mulled wine, he'd make it and he would bring it to bed, and then things would just kind of get better.
Penelope: Yeah. Well, Amanda, do you know, I didn't even think to pack a sexy nightgown?
Amanda: It could be better without the sexy nightgown.
(They laugh. Lee appears outside their window. Amanda's eyes widen. Penelope turns and sees him. He darts out of the way. Penelope walks over to the window again.)
Penelope: Oh-hoh!
Amanda: This is not an oh-hoh.
Penelope: Oh.
Amanda: Uh-uh. No, no. No. I don't know what that man wants.
Penelope: No?
Amanda: No!
Penelope: Does, uh, honeysuckle and moonlight ring a bell?
Amanda: Oh, you have a vivid imagination.
Penelope: Amanda, it looks like the only fun that I'm going to have this weekend is uh, hearing about the fun that you are having this weekend.
(She walks across the room. Amanda puts her head in her hands.)
Amanda: Oh, no.
Penelope: So, why don't you please just get started and I'll start having fun, huh? (She walks to the wall and talks loudly.) I am going to bed. (She turns to Amanda and lowers her voice.) Just wait a few discreet moments and (she makes a clicking sound with her tongue against her teeth) give 'er the gas! Goodnight!
(Still laughing, she walks up the stairs to the bedrooms. Amanda stares after her.)
Amanda: Does Princess Di talk like that? (She hears a knock on the door and motions to Lee.) Oh, come in.
(Lee opens the door and leans in.)
Lee: Hi.
Amanda: I thought I was supposed to be undercover.
Lee: You are. (He steps inside and closes the door. Amanda sighs.) Why? Is anything wrong?
Amanda: Oh, no, no, no, that was a very subtle performance you gave at the window. She thinks we're having an oh-hoh-hoh-hoh!
(Lee takes a seat and stares at her.)
Lee: A what?
Amanda: You heard me. She thinks you're cute.
Lee: I am cute.
Amanda: Not that cute.
Lee: Listen to this. Whoever tried to kill the prince the other day was supposedly working for Endicott Roofing. Making repairs at the embassy? Hmm?
Amanda: Yeah.
Lee: Well, Endicott got the job by bidding incredibly low. (Amanda nods.) Well, Endicott is a tax-loss company, owned by a company that's owned by a company that's owned by guess who? (Amanda shrugs.) Johnson Oil.
Amanda: Johnson? As in Bo Johnson?
(Lee speaks in a Texan accent, mimicking Bo.)
Lee: Yes, ma'am.
Amanda: Oh, boy.
(They both laugh.)
Lee: So what did you come up with?
Amanda: Well, um, the princess is trying to convince the prince not to renew Bo's oil lease. See, uh, Bo's putting on a lot of pressure, though. It seems like everything is, uh, not the way that it seems that it is here. Bo's not doing all that well. (Camera focuses on a microphone hidden in the bouquet of flowers.) Most of the wells that he's drilled recently have come up dry.

(Other ranch cabin. Bo and Earl are listening to a recorder. Amanda's voice is playing.)
Amanda: The princess doesn't think it would be in the best interests to renew his lease. You know what? She doesn't like Bo Johnson at all.
(Hearing all he can, Bo shuts off the receiver and closes it. Slowly, he walks around, lighting a cigar. He takes a breath.)

(The field in Bo's ranch. Camera focuses on the rocky ravine that Bo and Earl were planning to do away with the royal couple with. Looks up the cliff to see a rickety board placed on the edge of the cliff. Bo and Earl are setting up.)
Bo: Earl? You're sure that cliff's gonna give way when that horse runs onto it, aren't you?
Earl: Yeah, that ought to do it, Mr. Johnson. That ledge'll never support a horse's weight now.
(They both climb into the little jeep they have.)
Bo: I sure hate to lose a beautiful horse like that Arabian, but it'll be worth it if I can shut that little Penelope Squire's mouth once and for all.
(He reaches over and takes a cigar from Earl's pocket. Earl starts the jeep and pulls his gloves off.)
Earl: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Bo: Let's get on back to the ranch.

(Later, a man is walking Penelope's new horse out to the field. Amanda and Penelope are waiting for him. The man leaves. Bo walks over to them.)
Bo: Good morning, ladies, good morning!
Amanda: Good morning!
Bo: How y'all doing? (Penelope jumps up on top of her horse.) My, my, but that's a mighty handsome horse you got there, princess!
Penelope: Yeah. He's beautiful, Bo.
Bo: He's a high-spirited animal, too, so you be careful, you hear?
Penelope: Bo, I've been riding since I was six years old. I think I can handle the horse. (She looks at Amanda.) You sure you won't change your mind and come with me?
Amanda: Oh, no, I, I really better not, I have an allergy, and, you know, with this cast.
Bo: Well, that's a crying shame Mrs. King can't go with you, because that'd save Mr. Stetson from worrying about your security. (Amanda stops smiling and stares at him. Penelope looks from him to Amanda, who forces a laugh.)
Amanda: I beg your pardon?
(Penelope looks relieved. Bo stops smiling. He looks at Amanda.)
Bo: You mean the princess doesn't know?
Amanda: Doesn't know . . . what?
Bo: That you're a G-man. Or shouldn't I say, G-lady? I mean, you do work for Mr. Stetson, don't you? (Amanda stands there, stuck for an answer. Penelope stares at her, shocked, then looks away.) You see, my foreman Earl, just happened to be outside your window, digging for night crawlers while you and Mr. Stetson were pow-wowing.
Penelope: I thought you came here as my friend. (Amanda tries to say something.) Apparently you were just doing your job.
Amanda: No --
Penelope: I hope they're paying you well.
(She kicks the horse and rides off. Amanda calls after her.)
Amanda: Penny! (She turns angrily to Bo.) I am not a G-man.
Bo: Well, I never contradict a lady. (He tips his hat.) Have a pleasant day.
(He walks away. Amanda sighs.)

(Alone by a ranch cabin, Lee walks toward it, trying to look inconspicuous. He stops outside the cabin, looks around, and walks over to the door. He opens it easily and sneaks inside. He softly closes it behind him. He starts looking through the stuff on the bed. He picks up a cowboy hat and examines it. A man starts walking down the ladder from the second floor. Lee looks up.)
Lee: Hi.
Man: Can I help you?
Lee: Uh . . . I promised my little boy Timmy I'd tell him about a real ranch. He's just crazy about cowboys, you know? Uh, he'd sure love this hat. (He sees the name "Willis Parker" embroidered on the band.) Does it, uh, belong to the guy in this bunk?
Man: That's right.
(Lee nods and turns over the hat.)

(By the stables, Amanda runs over to the same man who led Penelope's horse onto the field.)
Amanda: Hello, uh, do have a horse that I could borrow, please?
Man: Well, I just grained all the horses, ma'am --
(He is interrupted by a loud, vicious whinny.)
Amanda: Oh! Yes?
(They walk over to the pen with a mean brown horse inside.)
Man: Well, all except El Diablo here.
Amanda: Oh, he looks like a nice one.
(The horse tosses his head and walks away, startling Amanda and causing her voice to go up on the word "nice".)
Man: Are you sure you can ride with that leg like that, ma'am?
Amanda: Oh, sure, I'll be fine, yeah, just fine.
Man: El Diablo's kind of a . . . spirited horse.
(He walks away. Amanda looks at the horse nervously.)

(Earl drives the jeep over to the cabin that Lee was investigating. He stops when he hears Lee's voice. Inside, Lee is still looking over that hat. He laughs and jokes with the man.)
Lee: Looks like Mr. Parker has a dandruff problem. Well, that'll happen to you in this dry weather. You suppose I could talk to him about buying this hat?
Man: Willis Parker ain't here no more.
(Earl looks at the cabin strangely.)

(In the field, Amanda trots over to the man holding El Diablo, all ready for riding.)
Amanda: Is he ready?
Man: Ready.
Amanda: Oh, okay. Good boy.
(The man steps aside and helps Amanda into the saddle.)
Man: Can I help you, ma'am?
Amanda: No, no, that's all right, I'm fine, thank you very much. (She tries to jump over the horse as Penelope did, but her foot slips out of the stirrup.) Could you give me a leg up here, please? (The man takes her foot.) One, two, three! (She pulls, he lifts, and she lands on the horse and goes flying off the other side. Luckily, she grabs the saddle and hangs on.) Whoa! No, that's all right. I'm fine, yeah, I'm fine.
(She tries to pull herself up. The man reaches across the horse and pulls her as well.)
Man: I got you.
Amanda: Yeah.
Man: Come on.
Amanda: Okay. (Finally she reaches the saddle and reaches for the reins.) Which way did the princess go?
(The man points.)
Man: That way, ma'am.
Amanda: Yeah, okay.
(The man walks around to the other side of the horse and motions for Amanda to come.)
Man: Just bring him along this way, ma'am.
Amanda: This way.
(She pulls the reins, and El Diablo trots in the opposite direction.)
Man: Try digging your heels into the horse's flanks, ma'am.
Amanda: Yeah, okay.
Man: Gently.
(Amanda gently kicks the horse and it breaks into a full gallop. She screams. The horse runs at full speed and leaps over a hurtle.)

(Parker's cabin. Lee is still talking with the man.)
Man: I got to get going, Mister. Look, I'd put that hat back where I found it.
(Lee nods.)
Lee: Yeah, right here.
(He places the hat on the bunk behind him and holds out his arms sideways. The man walks away. Lee watches until he is gone, then picks up the hat and creeps over to the door. He opens it. Earl is standing there, grinning. He punches Lee in the face and Lee goes down.)

(In the field, Penelope is riding gracefully on her horse. Behind her, Amanda rides up screaming on El Diablo. Penelope stops. Amanda gallops right by. Penelope turns her horse around and takes up the chase.)
Penelope: Amanda, hang on! I'm coming! (She catches up to Amanda and takes El Diablo's reins from her. She pulls them and both horses stop.) Oh, are you all right?
Amanda: Oh, okay.
Penelope: Whoa.
(The horses finally calm down. Penelope takes deep breaths to relax.)
Amanda: Oh, thank you.
Penelope: You could have gotten killed on that horse.
Amanda: Well, he was the only one available.
Penelope: That was close.
Amanda: And I had to explain.
Penelope: Are you telling me you got on that horse just in order to explain?
(She climbs down from the horse.)
Amanda: Well, I thought it was like driving a car, and about last night, I just want you to keep an open mind.
Penelope: Sure.
(Amanda grips the horse's mane.)
Amanda: Hold it very still. Horse, don't.
(The princess helps her down.)
Penelope: Okay. It's okay!
Amanda: Hold the horse!
Penelope: It's okay!

(Bo's office. Earl points a rifle to a bench. Lee sits down on it. Bo is standing there, too.)
Lee: It was Willis Parker who fired those shots the other night, wasn't it, Johnson? Now Parker's dead.
(Bo walks around to the other side of him.)
Bo: I hope you forgive me, Mr. Stetson, but, uh . . . I don't think you're really in any position to be asking the questions. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go see a man about a horse. (He walks around to the door.) Earl, we'll, uh, take care of Mr. Stetson and Mrs. King when I get back. (He starts to go, then turns around and looks at Lee.) Oh, it's kind of ironic, you know? You spending all that energy to protect the prince when, uh, I can assure you, he was never in any danger at all.
(Lee lowers his head. Earl, keeping his eye on Lee, walks to the other side of Lee.)

(The field. Amanda and Penelope are walking side by side, leading their horses.)
Amanda: So when Bo Johnson accused me of spying, I felt just awful because I'm not the kind of person who spies on your friends, you know? And this relationship with Mr. Stetson was all too hard to explain. It's really very secretive. My family doesn't even know about it, and you know? In public, when he talks to me, he won't even look at me, he looks straight ahead, won't even look at me. You know, well, about last night --
Penelope: Amanda, you can stop!
Amanda: I can?
Penelope: Yes! I believe you.
Amanda: You do?
Penelope: Yes, and I understand.
Amanda: Oh, good.
(They stop and face each other.)
Penelope: Good, let's get you back. Um, you can ride my horse.
Amanda: No, no, I can't ride any horse.
(Penelope takes Amanda and leads her over to the white horse.)
Penelope: Yes, you can, he's very gentle, he won't give you any trouble at all.
(She lifts Amanda up onto the saddle.)
Amanda: I don't care!
Penelope: Amanda!
Amanda: Oh!
(She sits on the saddle nervously. Penelope, laughing, walks around to El Diablo.)
Penelope: Let's just not talk about it anymore, okay?
Amanda: Okay.
Penelope: I can see it's very difficult for you.
Amanda: Whoa.
(Penelope laughs and swings herself up onto El Diablo.)
Penelope: I tell you, I just feel a little silly, that's all. I mean, here I am encouraging you to get something going with Mr. Stetson and . . . you've been having an affair with him all along.
Amanda: Huh?!

(Bo's cabin. Earl is still guarding Lee. He sits down across from him.)
Lee: You know you're not going to get away with this. The prince's security people are going to ask questions.
Earl: Just a little horseback riding action.
Lee: Yeah. But the princess is an experienced rider.
Earl: Not on that white stallion, she ain't. He's a killer.

(Amanda and Penelope are riding the two horses back to the ranch, Penelope on El Diablo and Amanda on the white horse. They are moving at a slow trot.)
Penelope: Okay, can you handle that now? (Amanda controls the horse and steers him expertly.) I think you're doing great! Good! Good, just keep it up.
(They move a little faster. Behind the trees, a car drives up silently. The driver, who is, of course, Bo, opens the door and gets out. He peers through the trees at the two riders.)

(Lee and Earl are still sitting there, staring at each other, only it seems like Lee is questioning Earl.)
Earl: Yeah. And whose fault is it if that ledge just happens to give way.
(Lee smiles charmingly and shrugs. Then, without warning, lunges forward and rolls on the floor. He rolls over to the chair where Earl is seated and kicks up his feet at two boards laid on top of barrels. The boards fly up and so does Earl, trying to avoid the flying wood. Lee pushes the boards out of the way, grabs Earl, and slams the rifle against the wall. Earl frees one hand and punches Lee in the jaw. When Lee is out of hitting range, Earl drops the gun, runs at Lee and pushes him onto a bench. Then Earl tries to pick up and throw him across the room, but Lee delivers a short jab to Earl's stomach. Earl doubles over, then Lee punches him in the head. Earl goes crashing into a cabinet, but recovers and pushes Lee away. Then he runs to him. Outside, you hear scuffling and groans. Lee bursts out of the second story window, rolls down the roof, and lands on the ground. He jumps up, runs around and into Earl's jeep, which just happens to be sitting there. Lee drives the jeep away.)

(Through the trees, Amanda and Penelope are riding up. Lee speeds the jeep around a twisty road, trying to catch Bo, who is keeping an eye on the women. He removes his cigar and fishes the whistle out of his pocket. He blows into it hard. Suddenly, the white horse Amanda is riding on, goes crazy and runs away somewhere. Penelope runs to catch up.)
Amanda: Whoa!
Penelope: Hold on! Hold on!
(Lee spots them and steers the jeep toward them.)
Amanda: Whoa!
(Amanda races by, followed by Penelope, and Lee tries to follow them. He pulls out in front of the horses. Without stopping the jeep, he leaps out of it and lands on the grass, with the horse running straight for him. Right before it tramples Lee, it rears and whinnies. The jeep continues driving until it drives onto the breakaway ledge and falls down. It explodes and bursts into flames on the way down. The horse keeps rearing inches from Lee's face. When it hits the ground, Lee jumps up and runs over to help Amanda down. Meanwhile, the car completely burns up below the cliff. When the white horse finally calms down, Lee and Penelope help lift Amanda to the ground. She collapses in Lee's arms.)
Penelope: That was too close, that was just too close.
(The three walk over to the edge of the cliff and watch the jeep burn up.)
Amanda: It just -- just (she moves her arm in an arc like a car driving over a ledge).
Penelope: Oh.
Amanda: Yeah.
(She gestures at Lee. He looks at her.)
Lee: You were right. You and horses don't get along.
Amanda: Oh, well, I don't know, it wasn't so bad. I didn't sneeze once.
(They all laugh. Lee hands her the horse's reins.)
Lee: Here.
(She stares at the reins in her hand, then hands them back to Lee.)
Amanda: No, you here. (He looks at her. She shakes her head.) Uh-uh.
(He takes the reins.)

(The stables. Penelope is lovingly stroking her white horse. Then she walks over to Amanda, on the cabin porch.)
Penelope: Well, now that this is all over, maybe Rheza and I can have a real vacation.
Amanda: Yeah. Um, I think the prince will enjoy Disneyworld.
(They laugh.)
Penelope: Listen, make sure you write, okay?
Amanda: I will.
Penelope: And boy, I'll find out how things work out with you and Mr. Stetson.
Amanda: It's not what you think.
Penelope: Oh, sure.
(They look at each other for a long time, then finally hug.)
Amanda: Now you take care of yourself.
Penelope: You, too.
Amanda: All right. (They let go and hold hands while Penelope walks backwards to the car where Rheza is waiting.) Bye.
(Finally they let go and Penelope leaves and goes to the car. Lee walks up behind Amanda.)
Lee: So, she said I was cute.
(Amanda turns to look at him.)
Amanda: She was under a lot of pressure.
Lee: Amanda, when you're undercover, it is not good procedure to look at me until the assignment is officially over. (Amanda sighs, but looks forward. She waves good-bye.) Does the, uh, princess know you're working with us?
Amanda: No, but I had to have a reason you were outside my window last night.
Lee: Ah, what did you come up with?
Amanda: I didn't come up with anything, she did.
(The car starts driving away. Amanda waves again. Lee does, too.)
Lee: Okay, what did she come up with?
Amanda: She thinks we're having a thing.
(Lee turns his head and looks at her.)
Lee: A thing?
Amanda: Eyes straight ahead, Scarecrow.
(Lee turns his head back forward. Then he looks around at her smiling, then back out straight and he laughs.)