Scarecrow and Mrs. King
The First Time

(A party. Men are standing around in Roman tunics. Lee is undercover as a waiter, serving.)
Host: Okay, everyone! Inside for the fun! Okay, everyone!
(A man is standing outside with a package. Lee sets down his tray and runs down the stairs to him.The man hands him the package.)
Warner: Here. Take this to headquarters.
(Lee takes it and runs. Two men in dark suits appear from around the corner.)
KGB agent: That's him.
(He shoots at the man. The man falls down. Lee stops running. The men run over to the dead man.)
KGB agent: He's dead. (Looks him over.) Where's the package?
(Lee begins running again.)
KGB agent: The waiter's got it!
(The agents chase after Lee.)

(Camera switches to Amanda's house.)
Mrs. Welch (on the TV): But we're not done yet. And Yankee Doodle Pot Pie must be cooked at exactly 300 degrees for exactly one hour.
(Amanda comes down the stairs, putting a coat on over her nightgown.)
Dotty: Darling, is that all you're wearing outside?
Amanda: Well, I've just got to take Dean to the train station, then I'll be right back. Thank you, sweetheart.
(She takes something from Jamie, then kisses the top of his head.)
Jamie: Why can't Dean take himself to the train station?
Phillip: Because they're in love, stupid.
Amanda: Because he's got to go to New York. He doesn't want to leave his car out in the rain. Where are my keys?
Jamie: It's not raining.
Amanda: Well, Dean says there's a 35% chance. The weather bureau pays him to know those things. Jamie, no sugar sandwiches.
(She takes the sugar away from him, then picks her keys up from the counter. She starts walking out the door.)
Phillip: How much do they pay?
Dotty: Quite a lot, I'm sure. It'll be nice when you get married. Then you won't have to keep running across town to see each other.
(Amanda stops and turns around.)
Amanda: Mother. We're not even engaged. I've only been divorced a year. I need a little time.
Dotty: Take all the time you need. There's no pressure here.
(Amanda looks around the room to see everyone staring at her. She turns around and walks out.)

(The train station. Amanda is walking briskly with Dean to the train.)
Amanda: And I've been having the worst luck finding a job. You don't need anyone at the weather bureau, do you, Dean?
Dean: Well, actually, I only hire people who marry me.
(Amanda laughs.)
Amanda: All right. Have a good trip.
(They hug.)
Dean: Bye. Be good.
Amanda: All right. Bye bye.
(Dean gets onto the train and Amanda blows kisses and stands there waving until the train moves. Then she walks away.)

(Lee is running from the agents. He scrambles under the train. The agents follow. Lee runs through the crowd. He spots Amanda walking alone and makes his way toward her. He grabs her. She spins around and starts walking with him.)
Amanda: Whoa, excuse me!
Lee: Just walk with me.
Amanda: I certainly will not!
Lee: Please. I'm in trouble.
Amanda: Oh! No. I've got to go!
(She gets away. He catches her and holds her arm.)
Lee: Just one moment. Please!
Amanda: No!
Lee: I'm in trouble. Please. . . . Please!
Amanda: What do you want me to do?
(Lee hands her the package.)
Lee (grateful): Just take this. Get on the train. It's a matter of life and death!
Amanda: Life and death?
Lee: Hand it to a man in a red hat.
Amanda: Is this for real?
Lee: Just get on the train, hand it to the man in a red hat. You can get off at the next stop and forget all about this, just do it!
(Lee runs away from her. Amanda stands there, looking puzzled. Lee motions for her to get on. She does. Lee walks away. The KGB agents spot Lee and chase him. They tackle him. Amanda, who is about to step off, sees what happens, gasps, and gets back on.)
Amanda: Man in a red hat. Man in a red hat.
(She turns to the seats and sees them full of men in red hats. Her jaw drops. The conductor comes up to her.)
Conductor: Tickets! Tickets please!
Amanda: I don't have a ticket. I'm not a passenger. I just drove my boyfriend here so he wouldn't have to leave his car out in the rain. In fact, I should be heading home.
Conductor: All right. I'm not supposed to do this. You can pay me the fare.
Amanda: I don't want to buy a ticket. Do you know what I have on under this coat? A nightgown! (All the men on the train look up at her.) Do you think I expected to be on this train?
Conductor: Where did you expect to be?
(Amanda looks around, realizing that she is stuck.)

(IFF. A car drives up. Lee gets out. He goes in, holding something to his eye. He walks into the coat closet. He rides up in it. Then he got out on his floor. Billy is standing there.)
Billy: My, aren't we a mess. You okay?
Lee: Fine. Just fine.
(The two get on the back of a cart. They ride down the hall.)
Billy: They tell me you lost the package.
Lee: Don't I get any points for making a miraculous escape? I'm only saying it was no day at the beach. What do you say, Billy?
Billy: Straighten your badge.
(The cart stops. Billy and Lee get out. Francine is waiting at the door.)
Francine: Well, I understand you gentlemen have to report to the principal's office.
Billy: Tag along, Francine.
Francine: Why do I have to go?
Billy: One of the chores of being my assistant is helping take the blame.
(Billy opens a door marked "Internal Affairs Section". The trio enters, Francine looking at Lee, questioning what Billy said to her.)
Dirk: I understand you managed to misplace a package containing highly sensitive information.
Lee: I didn't misplace it.
Dirk: Oh. What was in this package that you didn't misplace?
Lee: As I've already said, I'm not sure.(Dirk looks at Billy. Billy looks back at him, then pops a pill in his mouth.) Frank Warner, our operative in Georgetown, contacted me, said that he was being slipped a package of information at a party, and would pass it on to me. I went undercover as a waiter (indicates torn tuxedo), I grabbed hold of the package from Warner and I ran. A second later, he was dead. Now, I'm not sure what the exact information was, but it was supposed to be a key to plugging our leak.
Dirk: Leak, Scarecrow? Oh, I'd call it much more than a leak. I'd call it a flood! A tidal wave! (He gets up, walks around the room.) We can't sneeze around here without the KGB knowing about it. Every time we make a move on Russian intelligence, anywhere, anytime, we get sabotaged. Even missions called on 24-hours notice, boom, they get us. (slowly, looking at Billy:) We've lost four agents in the past 2 weeks. (Lee sits there, stone-faced.) They know what we're up to. And they're getting the word out to their people instantly. And I want to know how.
Billy: If you forgive me, Dirk, finding out how is my department, not yours.
Dirk: That's true, Billy. But, when a month goes by and your boys (looks at Francine) and girls, can't seem to do diddly, then Internal Affairs moves in to find the weak link.
Lee: I wish you wouldn't look at me when you say "weak link."
Billy: Dirk, we have done diddly. We've monitored every known communications system in the D.C. area, to the point that we know that the KGB isn't using any of them.
Dirk (sarcastically): Fabulous. How are they talking to one other? Smoke signals? And now you tell me that we might have had a clue to this thing, but our quarterback here (looks at Lee) fumbles the ball.
(The secretary opens the door and looks in.)
Secretary: Excuse me. Uh, Mr. Stetson? (Lee turns around.) I thought you'd want to know, they just located Special Agent Guthrie.
(She leaves and closes the door. Lee smiles at the others.)
Lee: The quarterback just recovered the ball.

(Morgue. A worker covers Guthrie with a sheet and wheel him away. Lee, Billy, Francine, and Dirk look at each other.)
Dirk: That was your ball carrier?
Lee: They were after me, I handed off to him, he was supposed to go in for the TD. Why are we talking like this?
Billy (to Doctor): Did he have a package with him when you found him?
Lee: They probably got it when they shot him.
Doctor: He never mentioned a package to me.
Lee: You spoke to him?
Doctor: Yes. He was still alive when we found him. He did say he was supposed to see you, Scarecrow, but that you never showed up.
Lee: I bet she didn't give it to him.
Dirk: Who? Who?
Lee: The lady I gave the package to.
Dirk: You gave classified information to a stranger?! That violates every procedural ordinance ever written!
Lee: Dirk, I didn't want to lose the package.
Francine: It was the same ploy that Lee used in Munich in his brilliant rescue of Dr. Forbisher's formula. His methods might be unorthodox, but the Scarecrow always delivers.
Lee: I owe you a drink.
Francine (without looking at him): You owe me a dinner.
Dirk: If he always delivers, where's the package, and where is this lady, and why wasn't I told about Munich?
Billy: Lee, who is this woman?
Lee: I don't know.
Dirk: You don't know?
Billy: Dirk.
Lee: Whoever she is, if she still has the package, she's in a very tight spot.

(King kitchen. Amanda is leaning over the counter, which the package is sitting on, and she has a troubled look on her face.)

(Moby's Dock. A fast food place. Kids are yelling. Camera moves down to Amanda's car in the parking lot. Amanda's car contains Phillip, Jamie, and an 11-year-old cheerleader. A carhop dressed a pirate attaches a tray loaded down with food to her window and leaves.)
Amanda: Thank you. All right, who's hungry?
Kids: Me!
(Amanda passes a hot dog back to Jamie.)
Jamie: Here, I don't want this. You can have it.
(He hands it to the cheerleader.)
Cheerleader: I don't want it either.
(She gives it to Phillip, who is sitting in the middle.)
Jamie: Where's the salt?
Amanda (passing a drink back to the girl): Just a second. Let me get everything.
Cheerleader: Mrs. King, I ordered a shake, not a root beer!
(All talking at once. Amanda takes the root beer. Lee, dressed as a carhop, comes with napkins.)
Lee: Got your Gangplank Burger, Mrs. King.
Amanda: That's all right, I didn't order a Gangplank Burger. . . . (Lee flips up his eye patch and smiles She gasps.) You again!
Lee: You didn't do what I told you.
Amanda: There were 25 men with red hats on that train! Let go of my car.
(She starts the engine. Jamie leans Amanda's shoulder.)
Jamie: Who's this man you're whispering to?
Amanda: A total stranger, sweetheart.
Lee: I want that package!
Amanda: Good! I don't!
Lee: I'll come to your house.
Amanda: You most certainly will not! (to backseat:) Phillip, do not hit your brother in the head with trash! (turns back to Lee:) I'll send it to you. Where do you live?
Lee: I can't tell you that.
Amanda: Good. Good-bye.
(She backs up. Lee, still holding on, follows.)
Lee: Wait, wait, hold it! Stop! I have to see you!
Amanda: No. Are you going to let go of my car?
Lee: No. Here, take my card! (He manages to stuff a card under the windshield wipers. She drives away with screeching tires.) Call me!
(He watches her car peel away.)

(Amanda's bedroom. She looks at the card. All it has on it is a phone number. She walks over to her window, thinks, then walks to the phone, picks it up, and dials the number.)
Secretary: 5-9-8-6. Who's calling?
Amanda: Amanda King.
Lee: Hi. I thought you'd be curious about all this.
Amanda: I called to tell you to leave me alone.
Lee: Mrs. King, have you noticed any strange cars parked outside?
Amanda: What?
Lee: It's possible you're being watched.
Amanda (laughingly): Watched.
Lee: Look, I've put you to a lot of trouble and I don't want to get you hurt! Mrs. King, we have to meet! Today. 5 o'clock.

(King kitchen. Jamie is opening the refrigerator. Dotty is watching Mrs. Welch and following her orders.)
Mrs. Welch (on TV): . . . Trussing your bird is an important step, ladies! Without proper stitching, everything will just fall right out! As any surgeon will tell you. A two-and-a-half pound bird . . .
(Amanda walks into the kitchen, buttoning a cuff.)
Amanda: Mrs. Welch again.
Dotty: Mm-hmm. The 4:30 show. "Colonial Cookery" is on two times a day. (Looks up, smiles.) If it bothers you, you could send me for private lessons. Mrs. Welch does give them.
Amanda: No, no. It's okay.
Jamie: Gee, you look great, Mom.
(Amanda stops and looks up at her suspicious mother.)
Dotty: You are awfully fixed up.
Amanda: Mother, all I did was comb my hair and put on a little makeup.
Jamie: Usually your hair is sorta frazzled.
Amanda: Usually I'm sorta frazzled, sweetheart. (She walks to the door.) No TV till they do their homework, all right?
Jamie: Grandma never makes us do our homework.
(Amanda looks at Dotty in surprise. Dotty laughs nervously.)
Dotty (quickly): That's not true. Uh, isn't Dean supposed to call at six?
Amanda: Um, I'll be back before then.
Dotty: Well, I hope so, because you know Dean, he is so prompt. Now if you're not here . . . where shall I say you'll be?
Amanda (groping): At my club.
(She leaves quickly before Dotty can question her.)
Dotty: Oh. (She looks back down at her duck, then looks up again.) What club?

(Costume party. People, elegantly dressed with antennae or other costume piece are walking around, talking, and dancing. Amanda drives up. The attendant opens her door for her. She gets out and nods to him.)
Amanda: Hi. Thank you.
(She walks in and looks around. She turns to go out the door. A lady stops her and takes her coat.)
Lady: I'll take that.
(Amanda nods. She re-enters the room. Lee's voice comes from off camera.)
Lee: Mrs. King.
(Amanda looks up in surprise.)
Amanda: Yes.
(Camera shows Lee, confident and handsome as ever, standing on the stairs. He smiles down at her. Amanda looks down shyly. Then Lee walks coolly down the steps.)
Amanda: Hello, Mr. Stetson.
Lee (taking her arm): Lee. (She acknowledges this with another shy nod. Lee leads her to the ball room.) I thought this would be a nice change of pace from our usual encounters. Anyway, we're among friends, so it's a safe place to talk.
(They stop. What Amanda sees is a bunch of wackos in tuxedos and ball gowns with antennae or a knight's helmet or rabbit ears.)
Amanda: These people are your friends?
(Lee nods. Then he takes her over to the refreshments table.)
Lee: Would you care for some pâté?
Amanda: No, no. I'm not hungry. No, no, no, thank you.
(A woman walks over to Lee. She is wearing a beautiful dress, with absolutely no costume part. She strokes his chin with her hand, and walks away. Lee's eyes follow her. Amanda rolls her eyes.)
Amanda (with a Brooklyn floozie accent): Excuse me.
Lee: Huh?
(Amanda smiles.)
Amanda: I'm expecting a very important phone call, so could you just tell me whatever it is you had to tell me?
Lee: Yes. We do have a lot to talk about.
(A beautiful blond woman walks toward Lee. She has bobbing silver antennae on her head.)
Celeste (deep, sultry voice): Hi, Lee.
(Lee looks up at her and smiles a big, toothy smile. Amanda looks at her then rolls her eyes back up to Lee.)
Lee (obviously happy to see her): Celeste.
Celeste: Want to dance?
Lee: No, I'm sorry. Um, I'd like you to meet Amanda King. Celeste van Kreswinkle.
Amanda (shaking Celeste's hand): Hello.
Celeste: Oh, that's marvelous. (Amanda raises her eyebrows.) You came dressed as a housewife. Oh, that's nutty.
Lee (noticing how uncomfortable Amanda is): Would you like to dance?
Amanda: Yes. (He leads her to the center of the dance floor. They dance to a slow foxtrot for awhile. Lee slowly moves in closer. Amanda notices this and pulls away.) How did you find me?
Lee: We have ways.
Amanda: I thought only Nazis and spies said that.
Lee: Well, I'm not a Nazi.
(Amanda looks at him strangely.)

(Camera switches to them sitting at a table. Amanda has her head in her hands, and Lee is looking around, embarrassed.)
Amanda: So you're a spy?
Lee: Actually, we don't say "spy."
(Amanda looks up at him, relieved.)
Amanda: I thought you were a gangster.
(Lee chuckles, then becomes serious.)
Lee: You understand that you can't mention me or this conversation to anyone. Not your best friend. Not your therapist. Not even your husband.
Amanda: Boyfriend. I understand.
Lee: And not just for national security. See, knowing our little secret puts your family in a very vulnerable position. If they don't know anything, they can't be targeted.
Amanda: Mm-hmm. What about me?
(Lee looks down, avoiding her eyes and the question.)
Lee: Champagne? (He pours her a glass.) Anyway, you can see why the package is so important. Whatever's in it may stop our leak and these killings, too.
Amanda: Yes. I understand. Now there is one little problem.

(Parking garage. Lee is storming in, Amanda next to him. He slams the door behind them.)
Lee: You knew I wanted the package! Why didn't you bring it with you?
Amanda: Insurance! I figured if you were a gangster, you couldn't kill me if you needed me to get to it!
Lee (gritting his teeth): That's how your mind works? Most people would have been happy to get rid of something like that!
Amanda: Most people wouldn't have taken the thing in the first place! Most people wouldn't have called you up or met you at some dumb party, a party for which I was hideously underdressed, so would you mind not yelling at me? (She stops and looks around at her surroundings.) Where are we?
Lee: We are in the garage. Do you think that I would let those valets park my car, a car that happens to be a classic 1963 Porsche nine- (regains control) three-fifty. (Takes a breath.) I'm sorry. I'm sorry, this is . . . it's just that this is very, very important to me and I am getting a lot of pressure.
Amanda (softens): It hasn't been my best day, either. Anyway, let's just be glad that we're finally going to get the whole thing straightened out.
(Lee nods, then looks at her kind of disgustedly. Then he walks away. But he's stopped by Amanda's laugh. Slowly he turns around and looks at her.)
Lee: What?
Amanda: Oh, no, nothing.
(She laughs some more. Lee, amused, walks back over to her.)
Lee: What is it?
Amanda: Well, I just almost did the dumbest thing with your package.
Lee: What was that?
Amanda: No. You'd just laugh.
(They smile at each other, while Amanda is still laughing. Lee hears the screech of tires and looks at the ramp. A black foreign car is speeding down it. Lee grabs Amanda and pulls her behind a parked car. The foreign car stops. Lee and Amanda crawl behind more cars. The doors to the foreign car open. Two men get out. Lee looks at them from over a car roof.)
Lee: Yeah, they're after the package.
Amanda: Who?
(Lee pulls her along for a closer look. Both of the men, dressed in black suits, are walking among the parked cars, obviously searching for Lee. They gaze around the cars.)
Lee: They've got the exits covered.
(He pulls Amanda along. Then he spots the cleaner emptying out the garbage and empty, unused cart. Lee peeks around the car, then he and Amanda race for the cart.)
Man: There they are! Let's go!
(The man and his partner get back in their car. Lee jumps into the cart. Amanda is standing there, dazed by what is happening.)
Lee: Get in!
(Amanda throws her purse and coat into the cart and climbs on behind Lee. Lee speeds away, the cleaner yelling after him. Amanda ducks.)
Amanda: Oh, my gosh!
Lee: Whoo! (The foreign car has started up again. It chases after Lee. Lee drives over the ramp. The car follows. The two vehicles go around and around the ramp. Amanda keeps yelling various things to Lee. She grabs on to him.) Let go, let go!
Amanda: They're gaining on us! Faster!
Lee: Just calm down.
Amanda: Hit the brakes!
Lee: What brakes? (The vehicles get out on to the open street. Amanda screams.) Hold on!
(Another car swerves to avoid hitting the speeding cart and drives into a fire hydrant. Water spills out everywhere. The driver of the car gets out and slams the door shut. The foreign car stops suddenly when the drivers see the accident. The driver pulls out a gun and points it at Lee and Amanda, but then puts it away.)
Man: We'll get them later.
(Lee pulls Amanda's coat out of the cart and shelters them both under it.)

(King kitchen. Dotty is arranging newspapers under Amanda. She stands up. Amanda is at the sink, wringing out her sweater.)
Dotty: I'm sure I don't have to tell you how untoward this looks, dear.
Amanda: No, Mother, you, you don't.
(Dotty turns away. Amanda unrolls gobs of paper towels out the window to Lee, hiding in the bushes, who is also dripping wet.)
Dotty: I can't imagine the kind of people that belong to this club of yours. What kind of a club did you say that was again?
(Lee gestures for more towels. Amanda gives him some more.)
Amanda: Uh, marine life, Mother. To save the clams. (whispers:) Get off the tulips!
(Dotty turns around again, just as Amanda finishes unrolling the paper towels. Amanda jerks her head back in the window.)
Dotty: I didn't know clams were an endangered species. (Amanda shrugs, then walks into the dining room. Lee shivers behind the bush and sneezes.) Gesundheit.
(Suddenly she looks up, realizing that Amanda left the room. Amanda walks in just then, stricken. She marches right over to Dotty.)
Amanda: Mother, where is it?
Dotty: Where is what? You know, you missed Dean's call.
Amanda: The package that I left on the dining room table.
Dotty: I mailed it. Did you track water out there?
(She goes to check for footprints. Lee looks up, alarmed. Amanda walks slowly over him.)
Amanda: I hadn't heard from you, didn't know who you were, didn't know what it was, so I thought I would send it to a nice, safe place.
(Dotty enters. Amanda whirls away from the window.)
Dotty: After all, you had it all wrapped up to send to Aunt Minnie in Maine, so I tried to help you. I don't drive, Amanda, so it was no picnic.
(She leaves. Amanda smiles weakly. Lee's head pops up into view. Amanda turns and faces him.)
Lee: Is this the dumb thing you almost did that would have made me laugh?
(Amanda makes a guilty face and shrugs. She smiles weakly.)

(Billy's bedroom. He is pacing back and forth in front of his bed. He is talking to Lee on the phone.)
Billy: Let me repeat back your suggestion. You'd like me to call the postmaster, ask him to get out of bed, go downtown, open the post office, and let you go rummaging around through a couple of bags of mail, is that fairly accurate?
Lee (back in Amanda's shrubbery): Yeah.
Billy: Are you by any chance aware that the limousine that you wrecked today belongs to the assistant to the Chairman of Joint Cheifs of Staff? And that I have been here all evening explaining that the joy-riding gigolo who totaled his car was one of my men?
Lee: I was working, Billy.
Billy: In a tuxedo?! No, Stetson, I will not call the postmaster, because agents under suspension have no business going through other people's mail.
Lee (laughing): Gee, Billy, you're not saying I'm suspended.

(Outside the post office. Amanda is standing over Lee, holding a flashlight. Lee is working at the lock on the door.)
Amanda: You're suspended?!
Lee: A temporary setback.
Amanda: Isn't this illegal?
(Lee finishes on the lock. He stands up and opens the door.)
Lee: Yes. Come on.
Amanda: Ohh.
Lee: Go on.
(Amanda shines her flashlight around at piles of wood, stacks of letters, and of course, packages. Then she shines it on her watch.)
Amanda: We've been here three hours. (Apparently time goes flies when you're having fun.) I don't think we're ever going to find your package.
(Lee stands up from behind a pile, shining his flashlight on a package.)
Lee: You wrapped the lousy thing. I was sure you would spot it. (They pass each other and look at more boxes. Lee tosses a box on the pile angrily and turns around.) They must have gotten here before we did.
Amanda: Who?
Voice: Hold it.
(Amanda gasps. Whoever belongsto the voice shines a light in Amanda and Lee's faces.) Don't move.
(They don't.)

(IFF. A man walks through a door. As it opens, we hear Billy yelling at Lee. When it closes, their voices fade out.)
Billy: If you just hadn't broken into that post office . . .
(Amanda paces in front of the door. Francine is sitting patiently in a chair outside the Internal Affairs Section.)
Intercom: Colonel Shepherd to Communications, please. All Forensics personnel to Level 2.
(Amanda smiles at Francine. She tries to make conversation with her to pass the time.)
Amanda: So, do you like this work? (Francine looks up from her magazine. Then she looks back down again.) I mean, do you get out a lot, or is it mostly tapping phones?
(Francine looks up at her, annoyed, like Amanda is distracting her.)
Francine (with mock sweetness): What is it you say you do, dear?
Amanda: I'm a mother. And I'm a den mother. I'm looking for work. Actually, I do a lot.
Francine: Sounds like it. I guess I should have taken time for some of those things, but, uh. . . . You know, I believe that it is never too late for today's woman to do anything she wants to do. So, now that I am a successful professional, I've decided to go back to school.
Amanda: Oh.
Francine: Learning how to cook.
Amanda (unimpressed, but polite): Good for you.
Francine: That Mrs. Welch on TV? She's giving me private lessons. You know, Nancy R. won't boil an egg without her.
(Amanda smiles, not sure what to say to that. She turns away and continues pacing.)
Amanda: Nose job.

(Outside the Capitol Building. Lee and Amanda are briskly walking up the steps.)
Lee: Anyway, I'm sorry I dragged you into all of this.
Amanda: Yep. Sounds like a good-bye.
Lee: It is. You have another life to get back to.
Amanda: Um, well, what about you? Don't you have another life to get back to?
Lee: Not so you've noticed.
Amanda: So, never a Mrs. Spy, no little spies? No girlfriends, no buddies?
Lee: Look, you've heard of the word "loner"?
(He indicates himself.)
Amanda: Well, I hope you don't go to those singles bars. You will never meet a nice girl in one of those--
(Lee turns around to face her.)
Lee: Look, just don't worry about it, okay?
Amanda: You have some place to go Thanksgiving?
Lee: Amanda! I happen to like being alone. You'll notice that I don't even work with a partner.
Amanda: No, I hadn't noticed. But that's probably because we were too busy working together.
Lee: No, no, no, no, no. You were not a partner. You were an emergency! A partner's a guy who laughs at your jokes, loans you his socks, and one day, takes a bullet through the head for you!
(A long pause passes between them. Amanda looks away.)
Amanda: Were you two friends for a long time?
Lee: Not long enough. (He faces her again and takes her hand.) Good-bye, Amanda.
Amanda: Will I see you again?
Lee: No.
(Amanda nods.)
Amanda: What are you going to do?
Lee: First of all, I am going to lick this case, clear my name, then I thought I'd get drunken. (Amanda smiles.) So good-bye, and thank you very much.
(Lee walks away. Amanda turns and watches him go.)
Amanda: Good-bye!
(Lee waves over his shoulder.)

(King living room. There is a fire roaring in the fireplace. Amanda and Dean are on the couch, out of sight.)
Amanda: I missed you, Dean.
Dean: I missed you. D'you like the gift I brought from New York?
Amanda: Sure. (beat) I needed new bookends.
(Phillip and Jamie enter the room. They look around, puzzled, finding nobody there. Phillip looks like he doesn't want to be there.)
Jamie: Excuse me.
(Amanda's head pops up from the couch. She gets up.)
Amanda: Hmm? What is it, sweetheart?
Jamie: Phillip has something to tell you. (whispering:) Now you're gonna get it!
(Amanda walks over to Phillip and kneels in front of him.)
Amanda: What's the matter, sweetheart? What's wrong?
Phillip: I . . . opened the present.
Amanda: What present?
Phillip: The one on the dining room table.
Amanda: You mean the one I put out to be mailed?
Jamie: Just like you did the last Christmas, remember?
Amanda: Jamie, sweetheart, was that the one?
Phillip: Yes.
Amanda: How much did you see?
Phillip: All of it, I guess. Just a little old crummy music box.
Amanda: Right. Uh, the -- the music box.
Phillip: But I'm not the one who broke it! It didn't work before I shook it! Just a little old card fell out.
Amanda (slowly): A card. What kind of a card?
Phillip: Just a little card with a little bit of writing on it.

(Nighttime. Ambulance lights are flashing. People are hauling a dead man into an ambulance. Billy is standing there watching. an attendant walks past him.)
Billy: Jeffries? (The man nods. Billy walks over to Dirk, who is also there.) Last night, it was Fielding and Portland. Tonight, Jeffries. I want Lee Stetson back on the job, Dirk.
(Billy walks away. Dirk watches him go.)

(Steps outside the Capitol Building. Lee is walking alone. He stops when he hears Amanda call him.)
Amanda: Psst! (Lee turns, trying to track the sound. Amanda sighs and gestures.) Psst! (Lee shakes his head, then goes up to her. Amanda comes out from behind a wall. She is wearing a trench coat., trying to be an authentic spy.) Hi.
Lee: You sure know the hot spots.
Amanda: Well, we couldn't exactly meet in the grocery store, could we? Anyway, isn't this where you guys meet? Like in sort of isolated places, kind of creepy and stuff?
Lee: Only when we wear trench coats.
Amanda: Okay, okay. (Lee chuckles.) Now look. I wrote this down just the way Phillip remembered it. He's got a great memory, gets it from me. "Duck a la Nathan Hale. Valley Forge Flapjacks. Pilgrims Peach Puff."
(She smiles, pleased with herself.)
Lee: That's it?
Amanda: What do you mean "that's it"? Doesn't it mean anything?
Lee: No.
Amanda: No?
Lee: Oh, I mean, I'll run it through our code department, but to tell you the truth, it doesn't help an awful lot.
Amanda: Oh. I thought it would.
Lee: I know, I know. And I appreciate it. Believe me. But, Amanda, I think you ought to stay away from all of this. People in my business have years of training. It could get dangerous. Even worse, you could screw things up.
Amanda (angrily): Oh, well, I certainly wouldn't want to do that! Would I? I mean, look, I'll be glad to stay away. You think this is fun for me? Ho, that's a laugh. I was only trying to help you keep your job. Lee: I've got my job. Billy just called and wants me back. Another murder tonight.
Amanda: Another agent got killed tonight?
Lee: Jeffries. An awful nice guy, too. The night before, it was Fielding and Portland. Anyway, they're giving me another assignment tomorrow.
Amanda: Well. You'll be careful, won't you.
Lee: Hey.
(He smiles as if to say, "Don't worry.")

(King reading room. Amanda is listening to an exercise video and vacuuming and bending to the beat.)
Exercise Girl: And tummies and buns and stretch! Lift! Stretch! Lift! Down and up! Straight and down!
Amanda (to the beat of the exercise): Duck . . . a la Nathan Hale . . . Valley Forge . . . Flapjacks . . . Pilgrims . . . Peach . . . Puff. (She stops and stands up.) Pilgrims Peach. . . .

(King kitchen. Amanda has recipe books opened and spread all over the counter. She looks through one book, then closes it and tosses it on the table. She grabs Dotty's recipe box and unties the pink bow around it. She ruffles through the cards and picks one out.)
Amanda: Duck a la Nathan Hale. (She takes out another card.) Valley Forge Flapjacks.
(Dotty comes in and stares at the mess.)
Dotty: Well! Even as a child you weren't very neat in the kitchen.
Amanda: Mother, these two recipes, I found them in your recipe box, but they're not in any of the other cookbooks.
Dotty: No, of course not. They're from the "Colonial Cookery" show. I mean, you only get original recipes from Mrs. Welch.
Amanda: Mrs. Welch? Did you see her show this morning?
Dotty: No. I had a migraine.
Amanda: Oh.
Dotty: But, if the machine worked, I have it on tape.

(King living room. "Colonial Cookery" is on the TV. Dotty and Amanda are sitting on the couch, watching.)
Announcer: And now here's Mrs. Lydia Welch, who comes to you live from her own Virginia kitchen.
Mrs. Welch: Welcome to my home. Now, I want you to set those ovens at exactly 400 degrees, and time is important here. We will be baking for exactly one hour. (Dotty smiles at Amanda, who smiles back.) "And what is the dish?" you ask. (Amanda leans closer. She mouths the words along with Mrs. Welch.) I call it "Pilgrims Peach Puff."
Dotty: Oh! Wonderful. What do you think? Amanda? (She turns and finds nobody sitting next to her.) Amanda!

(Upstairs. Amanda is hiding against the wall by the banister. She is on the phone with Lee's secretary.)
Amanda (whispering): Yes, this is Amanda King calling. . . . What do you mean Mr. Stetson doesn't answer his ring? Could you try again, please?
(She looks to see if anybody is coming.)

(Alley. Lee is getting out of his car. In the background are piles of trash, beat-up cars, and dillapidated old brick buildings. Lee walks over to one of the buildings and climbs up the fire escape. He works at the door. A KGB agent holds up a picture of Lee in his waiter costume and speaks into a walkie-talkie.)
Agent: Pilgrims Peach Puff. Right on time.
(Another agent in the building Lee is trying to break into hears the signal on his own walkie-talkie. He ducks into a corner just as Lee walks down the hallway. Another man steps into the light. As Lee turns to shoot him, the first agent hits him over the head. Lee falls to the floor.)

(Mrs. Welch's house. Lee is lying on the floor of a cellar with his wrists bound together.)

(TV station. Amanda, in her den mother uniform, is surrounded by boys playing on the chairs and sofas. Amanda is still on the phone with Lee's secretary and trying to help a scout with his knots at the same time.)
Amanda: Could you please try Mr. Stetson again? Uh, yes, well, could you see if he's picked up his messages, please? Yes, I'll hold. (She lowers the mouthpiece.) Boys! Boys! Boys. (She tries to untie a knot around a scout's wrists. Jamie is standing behind her, shaking his head. She reads from the manual.) "The Killick hitch knot, when properly executed, can be quickly untied."
Jamie: Gee, Mom, I guess you didn't properly execute it.
Amanda: Thank you very much for pointing that out, sweetheart. (A short man carrying a big folder walks through the door. On the other side of the window, the scouts are driving the workers nuts. Amanda talks to the phone.) Is this unusual? He told me that he picks up his messages every two hours without fail-- Hello?
(She hangs up, frustrated. The short man makes his way over to Amanda.)
Man: Ahem.
Amanda (looking up): Oh.
Man: Here are the broadcast dates of each of Mrs. Welch's recipes.
(He hands her the folder.)
Amanda: Oh, thank you very much. This will help the boys get their . . . Bear badges so much faster.
Man (sarcastically): Wonderful.
(Amanda picks her way through boys to get to the couch. On the way, she snatches her purse out of the hands of a boy who is playing with it.)
Scout: Hey!
Amanda: Be right back. Be right back. Boys! Excuse me. There you go. Okay. All right. (She settles onto the sofa and opens the folder and takes a white index card out of her purse.) Duck a la Nathan Hale . . . broadcast the same day Fielding died, and Portland. Valley Forge Flapjacks . . . the day Jeffries was killed. Pilgrims Peach Puff today . . . (She looks up, suddenly frightened.) Lee has a mission today. (She shakes her head.) This is none of my business. (She sits there a moment, thenstands up.)

(Outside the TV station. Boys are flowing out of the doors, followed by Amanda. Dotty is fighting the current, running up to Amanda.)
Amanda: Oh, good, Mother.
Dotty: I'm sorry I'm late, but there is just no hurrying a woman's perogative.
Amanda: Mother, something's come up. Now, I need you to take the boys home for me, all right?
Dotty: What? When will you be back? Amanda, Dean is coming to dinner!
Amanda: It's okay. I'll be back in plenty of time. Just take the boys home for me.
Dotty: Amanda. I suppose this goes without saying, but a good relationship is nothing to tamper with.
Amanda: Mother, I have an emergency! . . . At my club.
(She quickly walks away.)
Dotty: Clams again, dear?

(Amanda is driving up the path to Mrs. Welch's house. She parks and looks at a map to make sure it's the right place. Then she opens the door and gets out. She walks up the pathway. When she gets close enough, she sees a man kneeling by some plants and vegetables. She spots some melons on the ground and picks one up. Then she looks at the man and gathers up her courage.)
Amanda: I hope I can look back on this someday and laugh. (She stands up.) Yoo-hoo! (The man looks up.) Hello! (She walks over to him.) You dropped your melon. (He doesn't take it.) Would you to buy some Cub Scout cookies? I have three boxes left.
Man: We bought already, lady.
Amanda: Well, okay, uh. Thank you anyway! (She places the melon on a teetering box of oranges. The oranges fall over and roll everywhere.) Oh, I'm sorry, sir!
Man: Hey, what is this, they're all over the place! (While he is busy picking up the oranges, Amanda sneaks into the cellar. She runs down the stairs and hides behind a wall partition. The man looks in to see if Amanda is down there.) Cub Scout lady! You down there?
(Of course, Amanda says nothing. The man trots down the stairs and looks behind the wall partition. But luckily, Amanda has moved to another hiding place behind some boxes. She peeks out over the top. The man, not seeing Amanda, shakes his head and goes back upstairs. Amanda stops crouching uncomfortably and looks all around to see which way she can go. Outside, the man is still shouting "Cub Scout lady!". Amanda creeps down a dark hallway. She comes into the light and stops because she hears footsteps. But they are coming from outside, so she continues. She goes through an open door into another dimly lit hallway. She hears a crash and a loud screech, and runs in the opposite direction.)
KGB agent: I'll be back, Stetson. (Amanda ducks behind the door as the agent opens it and comes out. Amanda peeks out of a little diamond-shaped window in the door. Neither the agent nor Lee notices her.) I say you're lying. There's no Operation Pinocchio.
Lee: Could be. If I'm not lying, you were very smart not killing me at that warehouse. If I am lying, at least I bought myself some time.
KGB agent: Yeah. About twenty minutes.
(The agent leaves. Amanda, still behind the door, peeks out again. The floor she is standing on shifts, and Amanda realizes that she is in a dumbwaiter. She rides it up to where it stops. She leans forward to see where she is. She is looking into Mrs. Welch's kitchen,where Mrs. Welch and her assistant, Olga, are standing there. Mrs. Welch is hiding whoever she is talking to.)
Mrs. Welch: . . . like a violent storm-tossed sea! Always remember, dear, cooking is an art form, and our tummies are nature's museums! (She picks up a soufflé and walks over to the dumbwaiter, disguised as an oven. She opens the door and puts the soufflé on a rack. Amanda hides against the wall.) The soufflé is delicious! Lord knows I don't eat any. Francine's voice: I feel a little woozy, Mrs. Welch.
(Amanda stops and remembers that voice. She peeks through the window again.)
Mrs. Welch: Oh, not to worry! It's the 200-year-old sherry we put in the sauce. There. Sit down. There we are. (You can now see Francine. She is drugged. Mrs. Welch stands next to her and holds Francine's chin in her hands.) Olga. (The assistant comes, holding a clipboard and writing down the information as Francine gives it to them.) Now, Francine, the last time you told us that the agency codes in the Tampa, Florida zone were going to be changed.
(Amanda raises her eyebrows.)
Francine: Special Agent Elwood Davis will be arriving in Tampa tomorrow.
(Olga leafs through the papers on her clipboard. Francine starts mumbling.)
Olga: You refer to Elwood Davis as "Pears Paul Revere".
Mrs. Welch: Fine, now that's fine, Francine. Now, the usual Tampa rendezvous, in the rear of the Furniture Mart?
Francine: Uh . . . yeah. . . .
Mrs. Welch: Francine, Francine, the time. Now what about the time?
Francine: Three . . . three o'clock.
Mrs. Welch (to Olga): 300 degrees. (to Francine:) Will he have a partner?
Francine (shaking her head): No . . . no . . . no.
Mrs. Welch (to Olga): Bake for one hour. Add whatever else you need to make this dish come out. Now, our people in Tampa will be tuning in to the show tomorrow morning to get the data.
(She walks away.)
Olga (pointing to Francine): What about her?
Mrs. Welch: Don't worry about her. She won't remember a thing. She never does.
(Amanda gasps and leans back.)

(Outside Mrs. Welch's house. A helicopter is landing on the lawn. Mrs. Welch walks out of the door, followed my an agent who is pulling Lee out. They walk toward the helicopter. Amanda creeps up the cellar stairs and ducks down. She fingers a bag of sugar and gets an idea. Meanwhile, Lee is pulled to the helicopter door.)
Mrs. Welch (to agent): Get these pile boxes into the cellar! (to Lee:) Good-bye, Mr. Stetson.
(The two agents carry boxes to the cellar. Amanda pops up from behind their car. She gulps and creeps forward. At the helicopter, the agent is trying to stuff Lee into it. Lee sees Amanda's head on the other side of the car hood. The agent turns to see what Lee is looking at, but Amanda ducks. Lee gets into the copter and Amanda tiptoes behind the agent. Then she hold her purse up like a gun.)
Amanda: Freeze! (The man turns. When he sees Amanda does not have a gun, he turns back to Lee, who kicks him. The agent falls. Amanda rushes over.) That is what you say, isn't it? "Freeze!"?
Lee: Yeah, usually when you're armed! Untie me!
(He twists so that Amanda can reach the ropes. She looks at the knot.)
Amanda: Oh, Lord! The Killick hitch!
(Lee looks over and sees the other agents coming.)
Lee: Oh, boy. Come on, come on, get in, get in! (Amanda looks at the agents.) Come on! (Amanda runs over to the other side of the helicopter. She gets in the driver's seat and Lee gives her instructions.) Feet on the pedals! Right hand on the stick! Left hand down on the throttle!
Amanda: Why?
Lee: We're flying! (Amanda looks forward. The agents start shooting at them. Amanda starts the helicopter. It flies up kind of wobbly and shakily.) Here, I'll do the pedal. More throttle! More stick! Let's get this thing up!
(It goes up, wobbling like it's drunk. More agents come out of the cellar and start shooting at the helicopter. Mrs. Welch runs out of her house. The agents run to their car.)
Amanda: Look out!
(Lee shouts some more instructions to her.)
Lee: Look out!
Amanda: I hate this! (The agents are in their car, but it doesn't start.)
Lee: Why are we going back to the house?
Mrs. Welch (in the car): It's not starting! (They get out of the car and shoot their guns again.) There's another car! Take it!
(They run toAmanda's car.)
Lee: Pedal!
Amanda: Pedal!
Lee: No, not that pedal!
Amanda: Which pedal?
(Lee looks down at the agents running on the lawn.)
Lee: It's lucky their car coughed out.
Amanda: Lucky nothing! I put sugar in the gas tank! Phillip did it once to Dean's car, it's never been the same! (They scream as the helicopter does loop-de-loops. Lee falls against Amanda.) Golly, I'm sorry! (The agents zip along after them in Amanda's car.) How am I doing?
Lee (with his eyes closed tight): You're doing just fine!
(Amanda looks at Lee.)
Amanda: Open your eyes!
(Lee opens them and screams. In the car, Mrs. Welch spots them.)
Mrs. Welch: There they are!
(She leans out of the window and fires a gun at them. The helicopter changes directions and soars over the car.)
Lee: Look out! Pedal! No, not that pedal!
Amanda: I don't know which pedal!
Lee: What are you wearing?
Amanda: What do you care?
Lee: Whoa, look out! (The helicopter changes directions again. It lowers so that it's practically on the car's roof.) We got to be doing something wrong here! (The helicopter keeps turning around and spinning. Lee shouts more instructions to Amanda.) Throttle! Throttle!
(They scream. The helicopter lowers and the car speeds toward them.)
Mrs. Welch: We got 'em!
(Suddenly the helicopter lifts up and the car goes driving off a cliff.)
Amanda: We got 'em! We got 'em!
Lee: Gee, I'm sorry about your car.
Amanda: My car? Oh, what am I going to do?
Lee (shakily): Land? Oh, Lord.

(King kitchen. Dotty is cutting vegetables, ready to watch "Colonial Cookery." The TV is on.)
Announcer: Television's Colonial Cooking lady is in custody . . .
(Amanda comes rushing into the kitchen.)
Amanda: Hi, hi. I'm home.
(She is thoroughly prepared. She goes over to the refrigerator and removes a chicken already on the oven rack. She places it in the oven and sets the timer. She runs back and forth, grabbing things and putting them on the table, including a vase of flowers from the cupboard. Dotty, Phillip, and Jamie are standing there, watching. Amanda lights two candles and blows out the match just as Dean comes in. Of course,we don't see him.)
Dean: Honey, it's Dean. So, how was your day?
(Amanda smiles feebly and shrugs.)

(Billy's office. Amanda is explaining to Billy and Francine her rescue of Lee. Lee is standing there bored, for he knows what happened and he wants to be the hero.)
Amanda: Anyway, I couldn't get it out of my mind, I thought, Duck a la Nathan Hale, and Valley Forge Flapjacks, and all the recipes that Francine gave--well, what I did was I put sugar in her gas tank, because I knew that when I saw the helicopter, that was the only way we were ever going to get out of there, alive, I mean, those men had guns, they had guns, so, um, I ran up to the helicopter and I yelled "Freeze!" but I didn't have a gun, but Mr. Stetson kicked the man and the man fell down, and he--I ran over to untie him, but I couldn't untie him because he was tied with a Killick hitch, and who can undo the Killick hitch? So I ran around to the other side of the helicopter and I got in, and we went up!
Billy: But had you ever flown a whirlybird before?
Amanda: No, but it was just like my dishwasher, you give it a good kick and it will go just fine!
Lee: Uh,we gotta go, Billy.
(Lee walks over and grabs Amanda'sarm.)
Billy: Uh, if there's a need, I trust we can count on your help upon occasion.
Lee: What?
Billy: Well, Lee, we do use civilians from time to time. She's anonymous, idealistic, responsible, and besides, maybe having her around will help you to be more careful.
(Amanda blushes and lowers her head, after looking at Lee out of the corner of her eye.)
Amanda: Does this job pay anything? I mean, I have been looking for work.
Lee: Say good-bye, Amanda.
Amanda: Good-bye, good-bye.
(Francine gives her a little snooty wave.)
Billy: Scarecrow. (Lee turns around.) I think we've finally found you a partner.
Lee: Knock it off, Billy.
Francine: Oh, you two are darling together. I understand she knits or something.
Lee: I'd button it, Loose Lips.
(He leaves. Francine glares at the closed door.)

(Lee is walking Amanda to his car. She is babbling to him.)
Amanda: So, if I work here, does that mean that I work with you? I mean, that's what you do, isn't it? You have partners? But you know, I might need some special training. I'm not sure I have the right skills. I mean, I type, I don't shoot, you know? But I do love this area. Oh, I'm crazy about it. All the fresh vegetables come in here, and besides that, the boys' dentist is right around the block, so what I could do is, I could drop them off at the dentist, then I could go into spy headquarters, and then I could pick up a fresh melon all at the same time. Do you have a good vegetable man?
(Lee stops and looks at her.)